tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-39799475543850354242024-03-08T17:51:38.661+05:30Sardar Jokes | Indian Sardar Jokes | Funny Sardar JokesJokes, sardar jokes, santa and banta jokes, indian jokes, sms jokes, one liner jokes, online jokes, munna and circuit jokes, bihari jokes are provided by India laugh. So your search ends now.Pawan Kumar Singhhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06649500541937172983noreply@blogger.comBlogger12125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3979947554385035424.post-19835779047834921542008-12-18T09:53:00.005+05:302011-05-05T04:59:51.534+05:30Category<div style="text-align: center;font-family:lucida grande;"><span style="font-size:180%;"><a href="http://indialaugh.blogspot.com/2007/05/mast-sardar-jokes.html"><span style="font-weight: bold;">1: </span>Sardar Jokes</a></span><br /><br />One Sardar was enjoying Sun on a Beach in America. A lady came and asked him, " Are you relaxing" Sardar answered........<a href="http://indialaugh.blogspot.com/2007/05/mast-sardar-jokes.html">More</a><br /><br /><br /><span style="font-size:180%;"><a href="http://indialaugh.blogspot.com/2007/06/sardar-and-maths.html"><span style="font-weight: bold;">2: </span>Sardar - Back On Demand</a></span><br /><br />A sardar on an interview for the post of detective was asked a question -<br />Interviewer - Who killed Gandhiji ?......<a href="http://indialaugh.blogspot.com/2007/06/sardar-and-maths.html">More</a><br /><br /><span style="font-size:180%;"><a href="http://indialaugh.blogspot.com/2007/05/mast-khichdi.html"><span style="font-weight: bold;">3:</span> Mix Jokes</a></span><br /><br />Luv and Kush are going to a village & in between comes a well. Luv falls<br />into the well. Why ?.......<a href="http://indialaugh.blogspot.com/2007/05/mast-khichdi.html">More</a><br /><br /> <!-- Begin BidVertiser code --><br /><SCRIPT LANGUAGE="JavaScript1.1" SRC="http://bdv.bidvertiser.com/BidVertiser.dbm?pid=73191%26bid=171110" type="text/javascript"></SCRIPT><br /><noscript><a href="http://www.bidvertiser.com/bdv/BidVertiser/bdv_publisher.dbm">make money online</a></noscript><br /><!-- End BidVertiser code --> <br /><br /><span style="font-size:180%;"><a href="http://indialaugh.blogspot.com/2007/05/total-filmi-hai.html"><span style="font-weight: bold;">4: </span>Filmi Jokes</a></span><br /><br />ROBERT : America mein WAAR ho gaya boss !!!<br />AJIT : Us mein kyaa rakhaa hai Bloody Fool !!! India mein roz "WAAR" hota hai. Bolo kaise.......<a href="http://indialaugh.blogspot.com/2007/05/total-filmi-hai.html">More</a><br /><br /><span style="font-size:180%;"><a href="http://indialaugh.blogspot.com/2007/05/totl-bihari.html"><span style="font-weight: bold;">5: </span>Bihari Jokes</a></span><br /><br />A Bihari went to a cigarette shop and asked for one Wills:<br />Bhai ek Will dena, so the guy selling the cigarettes told him that there is no brand by the name.......<a href="http://indialaugh.blogspot.com/2007/05/totl-bihari.html">More</a><br /><br /><br /><span style="font-size:180%;"><a href="http://indialaugh.blogspot.com/2007/05/sms-jokes.html"><span style="font-weight: bold;">6:</span> SMS Jokes</a></span><br /><br />Talaash karo koi tumhe mil jayega!<br />Magar hamari tarah, tumhe kaun chahega!!........<a href="http://indialaugh.blogspot.com/2007/05/sms-jokes.html">More</a><br /><br /><span style="font-size:180%;"><a href="http://indialaugh.blogspot.com/2007/05/munna-and-circuit.html"><span style="font-weight: bold;">7: </span>Munna and Circuit Jokes</a></span><br /><br />Agar koi ladka girls hostel mein gaya toh first time 100 Rs fine, 2nd time 200 Rs. Fine and 3rd time 500.......<a href="http://indialaugh.blogspot.com/2007/05/munna-and-circuit.html">More</a><br /><span style="font-size:180%;"><span style="font-weight: bold;"><br />Latest Funny Jokes and Sardar Jokes<br /><br /></span></span>Gang of SARDARS broke a Bank.<br />Instead of cash they found Botles full of Chilled Red Wine,<br />Happily they drank & went away.<br />Next day Headline aai: Blood Bank lutya gya.<br /><br />**************************************<br /><br />Ek dafa sardar ne bank se lon lekar car khrid lya but bank ka lon wapas na kar saka.<br />magar Bank walo ne car wapas lalya.<br /><br />Sardar:agar pata huta to shadi be bank ke lon se karta.<br /><br />**************************************<br /><br />Ek Sardar ne ek bachy se pucha k tum ko A,B,C Aaty hai to bachy ne keha k mujy 9 tak aty hia..<br />Sardar ne bachy se keha k oyee Ullu k pathy 9 A,b,c main nahe aata. yeh to Alif,, Be,,Main ata hai:<br /><br />**************************************<br /><br />Ek chor Sardar ka mobile le kar bagh gyia.<br />Dost: wo tumara mobile le kar bagh gyia or tm hanas rahe ho,<br />Sardar: bagne do charger tu mere pass hai.<br /><br />**************************************<br /><br />1st sardar yeah bacha tumhara kia lagta hai<br /><br />2nd sardar:yeah mera door ka bhai hai<br /><br />2nd sardar:door ka mein samjha nahin<br /><br />sardar:iss k orr mere beech 8 behan bhai orr hai<br /><span style="font-size:180%;"><span style="font-weight: bold;"><br />Resources-:</span></span><br /></div><br /><p><a href="http://pawansinghseo.top20free.com/"><span style="font-weight: bold;">top20free.com</span></a></p><br /><p><a href="http://www.smsdose.com/"><span style="font-weight: bold;">SMS Dose</span></a> - Daily Dose Of Fun</p><p style="font-weight: bold;"><a href="http://www.emailajoke.com/">Funny Jokes & Pranks at EmailAJoke.com</a></p><p><a style="font-weight: bold;" href="http://humor.e-favourite.com/?usid=pawansinghseo">e-favourite.com</a></p><p><a style="font-weight: bold;" href="http://www.venelite.com/topsites/index.cgi?pawansingh">venelite.com</a></p><p><a style="font-weight: bold;" href="http://www.wholinks2me.com/" target="new">Who links to me</a> - Check to see who is linking to your Website!</p>Pawan Kumar Singhhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06649500541937172983noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3979947554385035424.post-20265802568254064462008-01-02T21:09:00.002+05:302010-01-15T22:22:14.393+05:30Great Sardar Jokes<div class="entry"> <p>Mrs. Jasbir Singh was in the habit of having long conversation on the telephone, sometimes going on over an hour.</p> <p>One day she hung up after 25 minutes….</p> <p>“What is the matter today? asked her husband. “Today you had less than half an hour conversation on the phone.”</p> <p>“I got a wrong number,” replied Mrs. Jasbir Singh.</p><p>_________________________________________________________</p><br /><p></p><br /><div class="entry"> <p>One Sardar was going to Chandigarh from pune by a air-india plane.He was alloted the middle seat of one of the 3-seats array.</p> <p>But as soon as the Sardarji got into the plane, he sat on the window side seat which was actually for an old lady.</p> <p>After some time the old lady came and requested the Sardarji to leave the side seat.</p> <p>But the Sardaji told, “I want to see the view from the window and shall not leave”.</p> <p>The old lady then complained to the air hostess .The air hostess requested the Sardarji to leave that seat but Sardarji did not leave.</p> <p>Then the air hostess went and told the asst. captain. He also came and requested, but in vain.</p> <p>Finally the Captain came. He whispered something in the ears of the Sardarji and the Sardarji immedietly left the side seat and returned to the middle seat.</p> <p>Astonished, the airhostess and the asst. captain asked the captain afterwards what he told to the Sardarji?</p> <p>Captain told, “nothing… Ijust told him that only the middle seats will go to Chandigarh and all others will go to Jalandhar.”</p> </div></div>Pawan Kumar Singhhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06649500541937172983noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3979947554385035424.post-80638091926309906412008-01-02T18:07:00.003+05:302010-01-15T22:22:51.807+05:30Fresh Sardar JokesBoss : Where were you born ?<br />sardar : Punjab.<br />Boss : which part ?<br />sardar : Kya which part ? Whole body born in punjab.<br />_________________<br /><br />2 sardar were fixing a bomb in a car.<br />Sardar 1 : What would you do if the bomb explodes while fixing.<br />sardar 2 : Dont worry, I have a one more.<br /><br />______________________<br /><br /><div class="entry"> <p><strong> Sardar jokes-Nobel prize</strong></p> <p>A man is driving down a country road, when he spots a sardar standing in the middle of a huge field of grass.He pulls the car over to the side of the road and notices that Santa is just standing there, doing nothing, looking at nothing.The man gets out of the car, walks all the way out to the sardar and asks him, “Ah excuse me sir, but what are you doing?”Santa replies, “I’m trying to win a Nobel Prize.”"How?” asks the man, puzzled.”Well I heard they give the Nobel Prize to people who are out standing in their field.”</p> <p><strong>Sardar jokes-Suger level</strong></p> <p>Sardar enters kitchen and opens the sugarbox. Sees inside and closes it.Wife observes the whole episode.Again he comes and does the same stuff. Wife asks Why are you doing this?Sardar replies: Doctor told to check sugar level regularly.</p> <p><strong>Sardar jokes-Engine failure</strong></p> <p>Fifteen minutes into the flight from Delhi to Kolkata, the captain announced, “Ladies and gentlemen, one of our engines has failed. There is nothing to worry about. Our flight will take an hour longer than scheduled, but we still have three engines left.”Thirty minutes later the captain announced, “One more engine has failed and the flight will take an additional two hours. But don’t worry. We can fly just fine on two engines.”An hour later the captain announced, “One more engine has failed and our arrival will be delayed another three hours. But don’t worry. We still have one engine left.”A young Sardar passenger turned to the man in the next seat and remarked, “If we lose one more engine, we’ll be up here all day!”</p> <p><strong>Sardar jokes-Puzzle</strong></p> <p>Two Sardar walk into a bar, each orders a drink. They go and sit down and start toasting and cheering, “51 days! 51 Days!!” About five minutes later, another Sardar walks in, orders a drink, and joins the other two in the cheering.Finally, another Sardar walks in with what looks like a picture. He puts the picture thing in the middle of the table, and starts cheering with the others, “51 days!51 days!!The Bartender starts too get really curious, so he walks over to discover that the picture is a Puzzle. He walks over to one of the Sardar and asks, “What on earth are you doing??”"Well,” the Sardar says, “everyone thinks Sardar are so stupid, so we proved them wrong. On the box of this puzzle, it says 2-4 years, but we finished it in only 51 days!!!</p> <p><strong>Sardar jokes-Going home early</strong></p> <p>Three sardars who work in the same office notice that their boss has started leaving work early every day. One day they decide that after he leaves, they’ll take off early, too. After all, he never calls or comes back, so how will he know?The 1st Sardar is thrilled to get home early. he does a little gardening, watches a movie and then goes to bed early.The 2nd Sardar is elevated to be able to get in a quick workout at her health club before meeting a dinner date.The 3rd Sardar is also very happy to be home early, but as he goes upstairs he hears noises coming from his bedroom. he quietly opens the door a crack and is mortified to see his wife in bed with HIS BOSS! Ever so gently, he closes the door and creeps out of his house.The next day, the other two Sardar talk about leaving early again, but when they ask the 3rd Sardar if he wants to leave early also, he exclaims, “NO WAY! Yesterday I almost got caught!”</p> <p><strong>Sardar jokes-Hanging for life</strong></p> <p>There were eleven people hanging onto a rope that came down from a plane.Ten were sardar, and one was a girl. They all decided that one person should get off because if they didn?t, then the rope would break and everyone would die. No one could decide who should go, so finally the girl said, “I’ll get off.”After a really touching speech from the girl saying she would get off, all of the sardar started Clapping.</p> <p><strong>Sardar jokes - Weight loss</strong></p> <p>The doctor told Sardarji that if he ran eight kilometers a day for 300 days, he wouldlose 34 kilos. At the end of 300 days, Sardarji called the doctor to report he had lost the weight,but he had a problem.”What’s the problem?” asked the doctor.I’m 2400 kms from home.</p> <p><strong>Sardar jokes-Santa in heaven</strong></p> <p>Santa Singh died and went to heaven. When he got to the pearly gate Saint Peter told him that new rules were in effect due to the advances in education on earth.In order to gain admittance a prospective heavenly soul must answer two questions:1. Name two days of the week that begin with “T”.2. How many seconds are there in a year?Santa thought for a few minutes and answered…1. The two days of the week that begin with “T” are Today and Tomorrow.2. There are 12 seconds in a year.Saint Peter said, “OK, I’ll buy the Today and Tomorrow, even though it’s not the answer I expected, so your answer is correct.But how did you get only 12 seconds in a year?”Santa replied, “Well, January 2nd, February 2nd,March 2nd, etc….”Saint Peter lets him in without another word”</p> <p><strong>Sardar jokes-Santa and Banta</strong></p> <p>Santa and Banta decide to apply for jobs at a mine that had opened nearby. After sitting in the waiting room for a while, Banta gets called in for his interview.The boss asks Banta if he had worked underground mines before? Banta says that he had.The boss asks him how deep under ground he worked?Banta says, “Oh, about 8 to 10 feet.”The boss says, “Mines are a lot deeper than that, get out of here - you’re no miner!”On his way out, Banta tells Santa to tell the boss that he worked real deep underground so he could get the job. Santa gets called in.The boss asks Santa if he had worked underground mines before?Santa says, “Oh sure.”The boss asks how deep underground he worked.Santa says, “I used to work in a mine 20,000 feet underground. “The boss says, “20,000 feet, Wow! That is incredible!, “What kind of lights did you use in a mine so deep underground? “Santa says, “Oh, I didn’t need a light, I worked on the day shift!”<br /><strong><br />Sardar jokes-Who dunnit</strong></p> <p>The judge read the charges, then asked: Are you the defendant in this case?No, your honor,” replied Banta, “I’ve got a lawyer to do the defending. I’m the person who done it.</p> <p><strong>Sardar jokes</strong></p> <p>Santa: My wife is still scared of waterBanta: how come?Santa: yesterday when i went home, she was in the bath tub with the security guard!!———-Santa to his wife: darling, years ago u had a figure like coke bottle.Jeeto: yes darling i still do, only differnece is earlier it was 300mlnow it’s 1.5 ltr.———–Nurse: congrats santa, you are a father.Santa: don’t tell my wife, i want to surprise her!</p> <p><strong>Sardar jokes-The archery contest</strong></p> <p>Once upon a time there was an archery contest.The first archer, wearing a long cape covering his face, lines up in position…He takes a deep breath and fires an arrow, which finds the center of the target.Then he takes of his cape and screams: I AM…… ROBIN HOOD!!! The crowd cheers!The second archer with a cape lines up in position.He fires his arrow, which hits the center and cuts Robin Hood’s arrow into two!!!He takes off his cape and screams: I AM…… WILLIAM TELL!!!!!! The crowd cheers!!Finally our Santa in cape lines up in position… He fires his arrow but it goes all wrong!It flies past the crowd and kills the king!!! Then the man takes off his cape and screams:I AM…… SORRY</p> <p><strong>Santa banta sardar jokes</strong></p> <p>Santa: Wow Banta, Where did you get the cycle, from? Banta: I was walking on the highway when a beautiful lady came in this cycle and asked me -”want a ride Mr. Singh?” I hopped in, and she took me to the woods. Once in woods she got outside took off clothes and said to me “Mr. Singh. take anything” Santa is quite excited and asks “What did you do Santa?” Banta: I took the cycle. Santa: good show - you wouldn?t have fit into her clothes!</p> <p><strong>Short sardar jokes - santa banta</strong></p> <p>Enjoy 5 short sardar jokes !? Q: How do you recognize a Santa’s son in School?A: He is the one who erases the books when the teacher erases the board.? Santa: I kiss my wife everyday before leaving for office, what about you?Banta: Me too, after you leave.? Banta: Guess what I heard in the pub? They reckon the milkman has made love to every woman in our street except one.”Wife: I’ll bet it’s that stuck-up Rupa at number 14.? Santa was caught for speeding and went before the judge.The judge said: What will you take 30 days or Rs 3000.Santa: I think I’ll take the money.? The judge read the charges, then asked: Are you the defendant in this case?No, your honor,” replied Banta, “I’ve got a lawyer to do the defendin’. I’m the person who done it.</p> </div>Pawan Kumar Singhhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06649500541937172983noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3979947554385035424.post-30169993514418297462008-01-02T15:56:00.002+05:302010-01-15T22:24:01.021+05:30<div class="entry"> <p><strong>Sardar jokes-Engine failure</strong></p> <p>Fifteen minutes into the flight from Delhi to Kolkata, the captain announced, “Ladies and gentlemen, one of our engines has failed. There is nothing to worry about. Our flight will take an hour longer than scheduled, but we still have three engines left.”Thirty minutes later the captain announced, “One more engine has failed and the flight will take an additional two hours. But don’t worry. We can fly just fine on two engines.”An hour later the captain announced, “One more engine has failed and our arrival will be delayed another three hours. But don’t worry. We still have one engine left.”A young Sardar passenger turned to the man in the next seat and remarked, “If we lose one more engine, we’ll be up here all day!”</p><p><strong>Sardar jokes-Nobel prize</strong></p> <p>A man is driving down a country road, when he spots a sardar standing in the middle of a huge field of grass.He pulls the car over to the side of the road and notices that Santa is just standing there, doing nothing, looking at nothing.The man gets out of the car, walks all the way out to the sardar and asks him, “Ah excuse me sir, but what are you doing?”Santa replies, “I’m trying to win a Nobel Prize.”"How?” asks the man, puzzled.”Well I heard they give the Nobel Prize to people who are out standing in their field.”</p> <p><strong>Sardar jokes-Suger level</strong></p> <p>Sardar enters kitchen and opens the sugarbox. Sees inside and closes it.Wife observes the whole episode.Again he comes and does the same stuff. Wife asks Why are you doing this?Sardar replies: Doctor told to check sugar level regularly.</p><p><strong>Sardar jokes-Puzzle</strong></p> <p>Two Sardar walk into a bar, each orders a drink. They go and sit down and start toasting and cheering, “51 days! 51 Days!!” About five minutes later, another Sardar walks in, orders a drink, and joins the other two in the cheering.Finally, another Sardar walks in with what looks like a picture. He puts the picture thing in the middle of the table, and starts cheering with the others, “51 days!51 days!!The Bartender starts too get really curious, so he walks over to discover that the picture is a Puzzle. He walks over to one of the Sardar and asks, “What on earth are you doing??”"Well,” the Sardar says, “everyone thinks Sardar are so stupid, so we proved them wrong. On the box of this puzzle, it says 2-4 years, but we finished it in only 51 days!!!</p> <p><strong>Sardar jokes-Going home early</strong></p> <p>Three sardars who work in the same office notice that their boss has started leaving work early every day. One day they decide that after he leaves, they’ll take off early, too. After all, he never calls or comes back, so how will he know?The 1st Sardar is thrilled to get home early. he does a little gardening, watches a movie and then goes to bed early.The 2nd Sardar is elevated to be able to get in a quick workout at her health club before meeting a dinner date.The 3rd Sardar is also very happy to be home early, but as he goes upstairs he hears noises coming from his bedroom. he quietly opens the door a crack and is mortified to see his wife in bed with HIS BOSS! Ever so gently, he closes the door and creeps out of his house.The next day, the other two Sardar talk about leaving early again, but when they ask the 3rd Sardar if he wants to leave early also, he exclaims, “NO WAY! Yesterday I almost got caught!”</p> <p><strong>Sardar jokes-Hanging for life</strong></p> <p>There were eleven people hanging onto a rope that came down from a plane.Ten were sardar, and one was a girl. They all decided that one person should get off because if they didn?t, then the rope would break and everyone would die. No one could decide who should go, so finally the girl said, “I’ll get off.”After a really touching speech from the girl saying she would get off, all of the sardar started Clapping.</p> <p><strong>Sardar jokes - Weight loss</strong></p> <p>The doctor told Sardarji that if he ran eight kilometers a day for 300 days, he wouldlose 34 kilos. At the end of 300 days, Sardarji called the doctor to report he had lost the weight,but he had a problem.”What’s the problem?” asked the doctor.I’m 2400 kms from home.</p> <p><strong>Sardar jokes-Santa in heaven</strong></p> <p>Santa Singh died and went to heaven. When he got to the pearly gate Saint Peter told him that new rules were in effect due to the advances in education on earth.In order to gain admittance a prospective heavenly soul must answer two questions:1. Name two days of the week that begin with “T”.2. How many seconds are there in a year?Santa thought for a few minutes and answered…1. The two days of the week that begin with “T” are Today and Tomorrow.2. There are 12 seconds in a year.Saint Peter said, “OK, I’ll buy the Today and Tomorrow, even though it’s not the answer I expected, so your answer is correct.But how did you get only 12 seconds in a year?”Santa replied, “Well, January 2nd, February 2nd,March 2nd, etc….”Saint Peter lets him in without another word”</p> <p><strong>Sardar jokes-Santa and Banta</strong></p> <p>Santa and Banta decide to apply for jobs at a mine that had opened nearby. After sitting in the waiting room for a while, Banta gets called in for his interview.The boss asks Banta if he had worked underground mines before? Banta says that he had.The boss asks him how deep under ground he worked?Banta says, “Oh, about 8 to 10 feet.”The boss says, “Mines are a lot deeper than that, get out of here - you’re no miner!”On his way out, Banta tells Santa to tell the boss that he worked real deep underground so he could get the job. Santa gets called in.The boss asks Santa if he had worked underground mines before?Santa says, “Oh sure.”The boss asks how deep underground he worked.Santa says, “I used to work in a mine 20,000 feet underground. “The boss says, “20,000 feet, Wow! That is incredible!, “What kind of lights did you use in a mine so deep underground? “Santa says, “Oh, I didn’t need a light, I worked on the day shift!”<br /><strong><br />Sardar jokes-Who dunnit</strong></p> <p>The judge read the charges, then asked: Are you the defendant in this case?No, your honor,” replied Banta, “I’ve got a lawyer to do the defending. I’m the person who done it.</p> <p><strong>Short sardar jokes - santa banta</strong></p> <p>Enjoy 5 short sardar jokes !? Q: How do you recognize a Santa’s son in School?A: He is the one who erases the books when the teacher erases the board.? Santa: I kiss my wife everyday before leaving for office, what about you?Banta: Me too, after you leave.? Banta: Guess what I heard in the pub? They reckon the milkman has made love to every woman in our street except one.”Wife: I’ll bet it’s that stuck-up Rupa at number 14.? Santa was caught for speeding and went before the judge.The judge said: What will you take 30 days or Rs 3000.Santa: I think I’ll take the money.? The judge read the charges, then asked: Are you the defendant in this case?No, your honor,” replied Banta, “I’ve got a lawyer to do the defendin’. I’m the person who done it.</p><p><strong>Sardar jokes</strong></p> <p>Santa: My wife is still scared of waterBanta: how come?Santa: yesterday when i went home, she was in the bath tub with the security guard!!———-Santa to his wife: darling, years ago u had a figure like coke bottle.Jeeto: yes darling i still do, only differnece is earlier it was 300mlnow it’s 1.5 ltr.———–Nurse: congrats santa, you are a father.Santa: don’t tell my wife, i want to surprise her!</p> <p><strong>Sardar jokes-The archery contest</strong></p> <p>Once upon a time there was an archery contest.The first archer, wearing a long cape covering his face, lines up in position…He takes a deep breath and fires an arrow, which finds the center of the target.Then he takes of his cape and screams: I AM…… ROBIN HOOD!!! The crowd cheers!The second archer with a cape lines up in position.He fires his arrow, which hits the center and cuts Robin Hood’s arrow into two!!!He takes off his cape and screams: I AM…… WILLIAM TELL!!!!!! The crowd cheers!!Finally our Santa in cape lines up in position… He fires his arrow but it goes all wrong!It flies past the crowd and kills the king!!! Then the man takes off his cape and screams:I AM…… SORRY</p> <p><strong>Santa banta sardar jokes</strong></p> <p>Santa: Wow Banta, Where did you get the cycle, from? Banta: I was walking on the highway when a beautiful lady came in this cycle and asked me -”want a ride Mr. Singh?” I hopped in, and she took me to the woods. Once in woods she got outside took off clothes and said to me “Mr. Singh. take anything” Santa is quite excited and asks “What did you do Santa?” Banta: I took the cycle. Santa: good show - you wouldn?t have fit into her clothes!</p><br /></div>Pawan Kumar Singhhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06649500541937172983noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3979947554385035424.post-8024542875244920492007-11-29T11:19:00.002+05:302010-01-15T22:24:30.822+05:30santa and banta jokes<div class="entry"> <p> Ek baar ek <strong>kavi sammelan</strong> chal raha tha. Bhaut se kavi bore kar rahe they. Ek sardar se jab nahi raha gaya toh woh khud stage par aaya aur bola ab suniye.</p> <p><strong>Ek kutta…</strong> Loge bole wah wah<br />Sardar phir bola Ek kutta, <strong>kutte ke uper kutta</strong></p> <p>Log phir bole wah wah wah<br />Sardar phir bola kutta, kutte ke oper 2 kuttey,<br />Unkey oper 3 kutte, Ab log silent ho gaye thodi der baad ek aur sardar bole wah wah</p> <p>Manch wala sardar phir bola kutta, kutte ke oper 2 kute, unke oper 3 kutte, unkey oper 4 kutte</p> <p><strong>Audience sardar pareshan hokar bola</strong>, bhai ye kaun sa sher hua? Manch wala sarda bola, abe tu sher mat sun <strong>tu balancing ko dekh….</strong></p><p><br /><strong></strong></p><p><strong>------------------------------------------------------------------</strong></p><p><br /><strong></strong></p><div class="entry"> <p> <strong>Santa and banta singh</strong> were both in a <a id="KonaLink0" target="_top" class="kLink" style="text-decoration: underline ! important; position: static;" href="http://www.jokesduniya.com/category/santa-banta/#"><span style="color: rgb(189, 109, 0) ! important; font-family: Verdana,Arial,sans-serif; font-weight: 400; font-size: 13.3333px; position: static;color:#bd6d00;" ><span class="kLink" style="border-bottom: 1px solid rgb(189, 109, 0); color: rgb(189, 109, 0) ! important; font-family: Verdana,Arial,sans-serif; font-weight: 400; font-size: 13.3333px; position: static; padding-bottom: 1px; background-color: transparent;">mental </span><span class="kLink" style="border-bottom: 1px solid rgb(189, 109, 0); color: rgb(189, 109, 0) ! important; font-family: Verdana,Arial,sans-serif; font-weight: 400; font-size: 13.3333px; position: static; padding-bottom: 1px; background-color: transparent;">hospital</span></span></a>. Once they were walking past a swimming pool, santa suddenly jumped into the deep end. He sunk to the bottom and stayed there.</p> <p>Banta promptly jumped in to save him. <strong>He swam to the bottom and pulled santa out.<br /></strong><br /></p> <p>When the medical director became aware of banta’s heroic act, he immediately ordered him to be discharged from the hospital, as he now considered him to be mentally stable.</p> <p>When he went to tell banta the news he said, “Banta, I have <strong>good news</strong> and <strong>bad news.</strong> The good news is you’re being discharged because since you were able to jump in and<br />Save the life of another patient, I think you’ve regained your senses. The bad news is santa, the patient you saved, hung himself with his bathrobe belt in the bathroom. I am so sorry, but he’s dead.”</p> <p>Then banta replied, “He didn’t hang himself. <strong>I put him there to dry.”</strong></p> </div> </div>Pawan Kumar Singhhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06649500541937172983noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3979947554385035424.post-29277038546906679652007-06-23T09:46:00.002+05:302010-01-15T22:27:14.648+05:30Sardar - Back On Demand<div style="text-align: left;font-family:arial;"><span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="font-size:12;"> </span></span><span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="font-size:12;"> </span></span><span style="color: rgb(153, 51, 0);">A sardar on an interview for the post of detective was asked a question -</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(153, 51, 0);">Interviewer - Who killed Gandhiji ?</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(153, 51, 0);">Sardar- Thanks for giving me the job, I will investigate.</span><br /><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(204, 153, 51);">---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(204, 153, 51);">Sardarji, tell me ...., what is the meaning of SMS ?</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(204, 153, 51);">Sardar angrily said, i know -</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(204, 153, 51);">it means....</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(204, 153, 51);">S - Sardaron ke</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(204, 153, 51);">M - Mazak udane ki</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(204, 153, 51);">S - Service</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(0, 153, 0);"><br />-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(0, 153, 0);">Shopkeeper: "ISke Saath koi gift nahin hai bhaisaab"</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(0, 153, 0);">Sard : "Oye ispe likha hai CHOLESTROL FREE!!"</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);">--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);">ONE FINE DAY A GIRL PROPOSED TO A SARDAR AND SARDAR DENIED</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);">SIMPLY SAYING THAT IN OUR FAMILY,</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);">WE MARRY ONLY OUR RELATIVES..</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);">MY MOM MARRIED MY DAD,</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);">MY BROTHER MARRIED MY BHABHI ,</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);">MY UNCLE MARRIED MY AUNT AND SO ON.</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);">SO PLEASE EXCUSE ME !!!!!</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(153, 51, 0);">--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(153, 51, 0);">Sardarjee to Sunita: "I want to marry you"</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(153, 51, 0);">Sunita: "But I am one year elder than you."</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(153, 51, 0);">Sardarjee: "No Problem, then I will marry you next year."</span><br /><br />-<span style="color: rgb(153, 153, 0);">--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(153, 153, 0);">Two Sardars went into a pub and after ordering two</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(153, 153, 0);">drinks took some sandwiches out of their pockets and started to eat them.</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(153, 153, 0);">"You can't eat your own sandwiches in here," complained the pub-owner.</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(153, 153, 0);">So the two sardars exchanged their sandwiches.</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 204, 0);">--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 204, 0);">Once a Sardarji was going to his office.</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 204, 0);">On the way he slipped on a banana peel and was badly hurt.</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 204, 0);">Next day , he noticed two banana peels and</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 204, 0);">exclaimed" ari , aaj to choice hai"!!!!!!<br /><br />*********************************************************</span><span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="font-size:12;"><br /></span></span><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 102, 255);">American says "US mein shaadi E-mail se hoti hai.."</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 102, 255);">Sardarji " India mein to.. shaadi Fe-mail se hi hoti</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 102, 255);">hai...!!!"</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);">-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);">Dr Chopra psychotherapist wanted 'Sign board' to be</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);">pained in front of his clinic but our <span>Sardar</span><span> </span>painter</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);">painted "Dr Chorpa Psycho The Rapist"</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(153, 51, 0);">------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(153, 51, 0);">What is the difference between WATCH & WIFE .........</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(153, 51, 0);">Ek bigadti hai to bandh ho jati hai......</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(153, 51, 0);">Doosari bigadati hai to "SHUROO' ho jati hai</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(0, 153, 0);">-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(0, 153, 0);">Doctor to <span>Sardaar</span><span> </span>: App ka aur aapki biwi ka blood group ek hi hai?</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(0, 153, 0);"><span>Sardaar</span><span> </span>: Hoga, Jarur hoga; 25 saal sey mera khoon jo pee rahi hai....</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 102, 255);">-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 102, 255);">A two seater plane crashed in a graveyard ........</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 102, 255);">Local <span>sardars</span><span> </span>have so far found 500 bodies and are still..... digging for more.</span><br /><br />-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------<br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(153, 51, 153);"><span>Sardar</span><span> </span>found answer to most difficult question ever</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(153, 51, 153);">What comes first - the chicken or the egg ?</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);">----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);">A <span>sardar</span><span> </span>invested 2 Lakhs in a business and Suffered</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);">huge Loss.</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);">Do u know what the business was?</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);">. . . .. . . . . . . . He opened a Saloon in Punjab!.</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(153, 51, 0);">--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(153, 51, 0);">A <span>sardharji</span><span> </span>photographer focusing a dead body's face</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(153, 51, 0);">in a funeral > function, suddenly all relatives beat</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(153, 51, 0);">him why?</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(153, 51, 0);">He said "SMILE PLEASE"</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(0, 102, 0);">----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(0, 102, 0);">Srdr gets ready ,wears tie, coat ,goes out, climbs</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(0, 102, 0);">tree, sits on the</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(0, 102, 0);">branch regularly. A man asks why he does this.</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(0, 102, 0);">Srdr:"I've been promoted as branch manager."</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 153, 153);">---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 153, 153);"><span>Sardarji</span><span> </span>standing below a tube light with a open</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 153, 153);">mouth.................</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 153, 153);">WHY?</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 153, 153);">because his doctor advised him "Todays dinner should</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 153, 153);">be light".</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 255);">-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 255);"><span>SARDAR</span><span> </span>& FAMILY GO 2 A PARTY. HE INTRODUCES HIMSELF</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 255);">I <span>SARDAR</span><span style="font-weight: bold;">,</span>SHE <span>SARDARNEE</span><span>, </span>THE BOY MY KID & THE GIRL MY</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 255);">KIDNEY....</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(153, 51, 153);">--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(153, 51, 153);">One <span>sardarji</span><span> </span>professor asked a plumber to come to</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(153, 51, 153);">his college.</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(153, 51, 153);">U knw Why?</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(153, 51, 153);">Because he wanted to check where the question paper is</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(153, 51, 153);">leaking...</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);">-------------------------------------------------------------------------------</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);"><span>Sardar</span><span> </span>told his servant: Go and water the plants.</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);">Servant: It's already raining.</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);"><span>Sardar</span><span>: </span>So what take an umbrella and go.</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(153, 51, 0);">--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(153, 51, 0);"><span>Sardar</span><span> </span>comes back 2 his car & finds a note saying "Parking Fine"</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(153, 51, 0);">He writes a note and sticks it 2 pole "Thanks 4 d complement"</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 0);">------------------------------------------- --------------------------------------------</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 0);">How do you recognize a <span>Sardar</span><span> </span>in School?</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 0);">He is the one who erases the notes from the book when the teacher erases the board.</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(0, 153, 0);">------------------------------------------------- -------------------------------------------</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(0, 153, 0);">once a <span>Sardhar</span><span> </span>was walking and had a glove on one hand and not on other so the man asked him why did he do so. He</span><span style="color: rgb(0, 153, 0);"> Replied that the weather forecast announced that on one hand it would be cold and on the other hand it would be hot.</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(0, 51, 51);">-------------------------------------------------------------------</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(0, 51, 51);"><span>Sardarji</span><span> </span>praising his son who is a Civil engineer, who just laid a road near his house. "Wow! This is terrific! Look at the </span><span style="color: rgb(0, 51, 51);">job he has done! The distance from my house to the railway station is the same as the railway station to my house!!!!!!!!"</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);">*******************************************************************</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);"><span>Sardarji</span><span> </span>zebra crossing ke black & white patte par bar bar idhar-udhar chalte the, woh kya rahe honge....think............. </span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);">"SALA YE PIANO BAJTA KYO NAHI"</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 204, 0);">*********************************************************************************</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 204, 0);">What is the chemical formula 4 water? <span style="font-weight: bold;">Sardar</span><span style="font-weight: bold;">: </span>HIJKLMNO.</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 204, 0);">Teacher: what r u talking about?</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 204, 0);"><span>Sardar</span><span>: </span>Yesterday u said H to O.</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 255);">**********************************************************************</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 255);"><span>Sardarji</span><span> </span>is trying to commit suicide on the railway tracks and he takes along some wine and chicken with him. Somebody stops </span><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 255);">him and asks "kyon bhai, ye sab kyon leke baithe ho?" (Why do you take these things with you?). <span>Sardarji </span>replies "Saali train </span><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 255);">late aati hai kahin bhook se na marjaun" (If the stupid train comes late, I will die of hunger!</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 0);">---------------------------------------------------------------------------------</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 0);"><span><span>Sardar </span>ji</span> Aapko logo ne kyun mara ? <span>Sardar</span><span> </span>" yaar Meri Photo Bas main Gir Gayi To Maine Madam Se Kaha Zara Sadi Upar Karo </span><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 0);">Photo Lena Hai"</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);">----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);">Ek <span>sardar</span><span> </span>Indian Flag lene shop mein gaya tha. Shopwale ne usse flag diya. Sardar bola: Isme aur colour dikhao!!!</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(102, 204, 204);">-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(102, 204, 204);">Ek american ek<span> sardar </span>se kaha hamare yahan saadi e-mail se bhi hoti hai isper sardar bola kamal hai hamare yahan to sirf </span><span style="color: rgb(102, 204, 204);">female se hoti hai</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 255);">-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 255);">A <span>Sardar </span>went 2 hotel, ordered chiken, Waiter comes with the order, <span>Surdar</span>:Murgey di taang kithe hai? Waiter:Woh langra tha. </span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 255);"><span>Surdar</span><span>: </span>Dil? Waiter:Dil murgi le gayee. <span>Surdar</span>: <span>Dimaag</span>? Waiter: Murga <span>SARDAR</span> tha</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 204, 0);">---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 204, 0);"><span><span>SARDAR</span>:</span>: Beta ye kaisi machis lay kar aaye ho ek bhi nahi jal rahi</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 204, 0);">SON :: kya baat kartay ho pappa sub check kar kay laya hoooon</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(102, 51, 51);">------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(102, 51, 51);">This <span>sardarji</span><span> </span>goes to see Jurassic Park and when the Dinosaurs start</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(102, 51, 51);">approaching, he was hiding under his seat when his friend asks him ;kyon</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(102, 51, 51);"><span>sardarji</span><span>, </span>kya baat hai? Dar kyon lag raha hai cinema hi to hai.;<span> Sardarji</span></span><br /><span style="color: rgb(102, 51, 51);">replies ;Aadmi hoon aur akkal hai, pata hai ki cinema hai, lekin voh to</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(102, 51, 51);">janwar hai, usko kya pata"</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);">-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);"><span><span>Sardar </span><span>ji</span></span><span> </span>is buying a TV</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);">"Do you have color TVs?"</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);">"Sure."</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);">"Give me a green one, please."</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(0, 153, 0);">------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(0, 153, 0);"><span><span>Sardar </span><span>ji</span></span><span> </span>is filling up a job application</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(0, 153, 0);">He promptly fills in the lines on NAME, AGE, ADDRESS, etc.</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(0, 153, 0);">Then came the column SALARY EXPECTED</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(0, 153, 0);">After much thought he writes: Yes</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 255);">--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 255);">What does <span>Sardarji</span><span> </span>do after taking photocopies?</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 255);">He compares it with the original for spelling mistakes.</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 204, 0);">------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 204, 0);">What does <span>Sardarji </span>do when he has one white sheet and wants an extra</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 204, 0);">sheet?</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 204, 0);">He makes a photocopy of the white sheet.</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(204, 51, 204);">------------------------------------------------------------------------------------</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(204, 51, 204);">What do you do when a <span>Sardar </span>throws a hand grenade at you? Pull the pin and throw it back.</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(102, 51, 102);">---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(102, 51, 102);">How do you make a <span>Sardar </span>laugh on Saturday? Tell him a joke on Wednesday.</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 204, 0);">************************************************************</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 204, 0);">One day evening a <span>Sardarji </span>starts from office to home with pushing his scooter manually. He met his friend on the way... </span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 204, 0);">Friend: why are you pushing your scooter manually? <span>Sardarji</span><span>: </span>'I forgot to bring the scooter key from my home. Friend: 'Is it! </span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 204, 0);">Then, How did you come to office from home in the morning?' <span>Sardarji</span>: 'I was pushing my scooter from home to office also in </span><span style="color: rgb(51, 204, 0);">the morning.</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);">************************************************************</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);">How Does a <span>Sardar </span>Cheat the Railways?? He buys the ticket but doesn't travel !!!!!!!!</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(204, 153, 51);">************************************************************</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(204, 153, 51);"><span><span>BEPPO </span><span>SINGH</span></span><span> </span>QUEUING BEHIND HIS FRIEND AT AN ATM MACHINE. Friend: What are you looking at? <span><span>Beppo </span><span>Singh</span></span><span>: </span>I know your PIN no., </span><span style="color: rgb(204, 153, 51);">hee, hee. Friend: Alright, what is my PIN no. if you saw it? <span><span>Beppo </span><span>Singh</span></span><span>: </span>four asterisks!</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 204, 0);">************************************************************</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 204, 0);"><span>Sardar </span>sent a <span style="font-weight: bold;">SMS </span>to his pregnant wife. Two seconds later a report came to his phone and he started dancing. The report said, </span><span style="color: rgb(51, 204, 0);">"DELIVERED".</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 102, 255);">*************************************************************</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 102, 255);">Two <span>Sardarjis</span><span>, </span>both student of I.I.T, Kanpur, were talking about the American Astronauts.</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 102, 255);">One said to the other, "What's the big deal about going to the moon-anybody can go to the moon. We are <span>sardars </span>we will go </span><span style="color: rgb(51, 102, 255);">direct to the sun."</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 102, 255);">"But if we get within 13 million miles from the sun, we'll melt."</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 102, 255);">And the first answered, "So what, we'll go at night."</span><br /><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(153, 102, 51);">*************************************************************</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(153, 102, 51);">One <span>Sardar </span>read a board "likhney wala briliant.....parhney wala idiot.." <span>Sardar </span>becomes engry, he rub the board and writes, </span><span style="color: rgb(153, 102, 51);">"parhney wala briliant, likhney wala idiot...."</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 102, 255);">***************************************************************</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 102, 255);"><span>Sardarji </span>goes to a hotel and eats heartily. After eating he goes to wash his hands but starts washing the basin instead. The </span><span style="color: rgb(51, 102, 255);">manager comes running and asks him, "Prahji, aap kya kar rahe ho?" To this the man replies, "Oye, tumne hi to idhar board </span><span style="color: rgb(51, 102, 255);">lagaya hai "Wash Basin".</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 204, 51);">*****************************************************************</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 204, 51);">What did the <span>Sardar </span>say when she saw the sign in front of the YMCA?</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 204, 51);">"Look! They spelled MACY'S wrong!"</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);">********************************************************************************</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);">What do you call an eternity?</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);">Four <span>Sardars </span>in four cars at a four way stop.</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 0, 153);">********************************************************************************</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 0, 153);">Why do <span>Sardars </span>have TGIF written on their shoes?</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 0, 153);">Toes Go In First.</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(153, 153, 0);">********************************************************************************</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(153, 153, 0);">What do <span><span>SMART </span><span>Sardars </span></span>and UFO's have in common?</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(153, 153, 0);">You always hear about them but never see them.</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(204, 0, 0);">*******************************************************************************</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(204, 0, 0);">Why did the <span>Sardars </span>stare at the can of frozen orange juice?</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(204, 0, 0);">Because it said concentrate.</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(204, 0, 0);">Oh look, Daddy...Donut seeds.</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 102, 0);">*********************************************************************************</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 102, 0);">Why do <span>Sardars </span>always smile during lightning storms?</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 102, 0);">They think their picture is being taken.</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 204, 51);">*******************************************************************************</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 204, 51);">How can you tell when a <span>Sardars </span>sends you a fax?</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 204, 51);">It has a stamp on it.</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 204, 0);">*******************************************************************************</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 204, 0);">Why can't <span>Sardars </span>dial 911?</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 204, 0);">They can't find the 11 on the phone!</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);">*********************************************************************************</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);">This <span>sardarji </span>goes to see Jurassic Park and when the Dinosaurs start approaching, he was hiding under his seat when his </span><span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);">friend asks him ;kyon <span>sardarji</span><span>, </span>kya baat hai? Dar kyon lag raha hai cinema hi to hai.; <span>Sardarji </span>replies ;Aadmi hoon aur akkal </span><span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);">hai, pata hai ki cinema hai, lekin voh to janwar hai, usko kya pata"</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 102, 0);">*********************************************************************************</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 102, 0);">A jet ran in to some turbulent weather. To keep passengers calm, the air hostess brought out the beverage carts.</span><span style="color: rgb(255, 102, 0);">"I'd like a soda " said the passenger in the front row. Moving along, the air hostess asked the man behind her if he would </span><span style="color: rgb(255, 102, 0);">like something.</span><span style="color: rgb(255, 102, 0);">"Yes I would," he replied. "Give me whatever the pilot is drinking!".</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 204, 0);">**********************************************************************************</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 204, 0);">"I'm going on vacation . Could you suggest a thrilling crime story ?" <span style="font-weight: bold;">Santa </span>asks to <span style="font-weight: bold;">Banta</span><span style="font-weight: bold;">. </span>"Here this one is so suspenseful </span><span style="color: rgb(51, 204, 0);">you won't be able to put it down" replies <span style="font-weight: bold;">Banta</span><span style="font-weight: bold;">. </span>"only on the last page do you find out that the gardener did it".</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 102, 255);">***********************************************************************************</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 102, 255);"><span>Santa </span>meets <span>Banta</span></span><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 102, 255);"><span>Santa</span><span>: </span>"so have you moved to a new house"</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 102, 255);"><span>Banta</span><span>: </span>"No."</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 102, 255);"><span>Santa</span><span>: </span>"Why not? You advertised to sell your old house, didn't you?"</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 102, 255);"><span>Banta</span><span>: </span>"Yes, but when I read the ad, I realized it was just the home I was looking for!".</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(153, 102, 51);">***********************************************************************************</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(153, 102, 51);">Do you really sell that much salt? A man asks to a <span>Sardar </span>who is running a grocery shop stocked with thousands of boxes of </span><span style="color: rgb(153, 102, 51);">salt.</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(153, 102, 51);">"No " says the <span>Sardar</span><span>. </span>"I sell may be two boxes a month. To tell you the truth, I'm not a good salt seller. But the one who </span><span style="color: rgb(153, 102, 51);">sell me salt-now he's a good salt seller."</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 255);">***********************************************************************************</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 255);">One day <span>Sardar </span>happened to see a marathon race.</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 255);">"What the guys are doing" asked the <span>sardar</span><span>.</span></span><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 255);">" We are running a marathon. The winner will get prize" replied one runner.</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 255);">"Only the winner will get prize! Then why others are participating!!" Exclaimed the <span style="font-weight: bold;">Sardar</span></span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(102, 51, 51);">**********************************************************************************</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(102, 51, 51);">One day a <span>sardarji </span>was sitting in his office on the</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(102, 51, 51);">thirteenth floor building when a man came running in</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(102, 51, 51);">to his office and shouted <span style="font-weight: bold;">"</span><span><span style="font-weight: bold;">Santa Singh </span></span>your daughter</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(102, 51, 51);">Preeto just died in an accident" <span>Sardarji </span>was in</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(102, 51, 51);">panic.Not knowing what to do he jumped from his office</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(102, 51, 51);">window. While coming down when he was near the tenth</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(102, 51, 51);">floor he remembered he didn't have a daughter named</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(102, 51, 51);">Preeto. When he was near the fifth floor he remembered</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(102, 51, 51);">he was not married.When he was about to hit the ground</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(102, 51, 51);">he remembered he was not <span><span>Santa </span><span>Singh</span></span><span>.</span></span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);">*******************************************************************************</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);">A <span>sardar </span>walked up to the front desk of the library</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);">and said, "I borrowed a book last week, but it was the</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);">most boring I've ever read. There was no story</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);">whatsoever, and there were far too many characters!"</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);">The librarian replied, "Oh, you must be the person who</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);">took our phone book."</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 204, 0);">********************************************************************************</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 204, 0);">A <span>sardar </span>was walking along, when he looked up to</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 204, 0);">observe a bird flying overhead. Suddenly, the bird</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 204, 0);">dropped a load when it was directly over him. The</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 204, 0);"><span>Sardar </span>says, "Good thing that cows don't fly."</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 255);">********************************************************************************</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 255);">Did you hear about the <span>sardar </span>who asked his friends to</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 255);">give him all their burnt out light bulbs? He just</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 255);">bought a camera and wanted to set up a Darkroom.</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 255);">********************************************************************************</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 255);">One <span>Sardar </span>was enjoying Sun on a Beach in UK.A lady</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 255);">came and asked him, " Are you relaxing" <span>Sardar</span></span><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 255);">answered '" No I am <span><span>Banta </span><span>Singh</span></span><span>" </span>Another Guy Came and</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 255);">asked! ! ! ! the same Question. <span>Sardar </span>answered " No No Me</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 255);">! <span><span>Banta </span><span>Singh</span></span><span>" </span>Third one came and asked the same</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 255);">question <span>Sardar </span>was totally annoyed and decided to</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 255);">shift his place. While walking he saw another <span>Sardar</span></span><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 255);">enjoying the Beach. He went and asked him " Are you</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 255);">Relaxing?" The other <span>Sardar </span>was much educated and</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 255);">answered "Yes I am relaxing. The <span>Sardar </span>slapped him on</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 255);">his face and said "Idiot, Sab tere Ko wahahn dhoond</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 255);">rahe hai aur tu Yahaan Aaram Kar raha hai. "</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 204, 0);">******************************************************************************</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 204, 0);">A call from ladies hostel at night to electricity office</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 204, 0);">" we lost the power send your men"</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 204, 0);">" No Man here, Use Candles"</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(153, 102, 51);">******************************************************************************</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(153, 102, 51);">Then there was the 85 year old woman who found her husband in bed with another woman. She was so enraged that she dragged him </span><span style="color: rgb(153, 102, 51);">to the balcony of their high-rise apartment and pushed him to his death.</span><span style="color: rgb(153, 102, 51);">When she appeared in court, the judge asked if she had anything to say in her own defence.</span><span style="color: rgb(153, 102, 51);">"Well Your Honour," she replied, "I figured if at 92 he he could make love, he could fly too."</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(153, 51, 0);">**********************************************************************************</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(153, 51, 0);"><span><span>Banat </span><span>singh </span></span>was working in a studio as a photographer. One day he went to a function to take some snaps. While filling the </span><span style="color: rgb(153, 51, 0);">film roll in to the camera it dropped down rolled beneath to the saree of an woman. <span>Sardar </span>hesitated for a moment and </span><span style="color: rgb(153, 51, 0);">approached the woman and said "Could you please lift up the saree so that I can take the photo"</span><br /><!-- Guruji AdGuru Integration Code Starts --><br /> <script type="text/javascript"><br /> <!--<br /> var guruji_ad_client = "gu15365247";<br /> var guruji_ad_id = "1234";<br /> var guruji_ad_type = "9";<br /> var guruji_ad_bgcolor = "CF3D4";<br /> var guruji_ad_tcolor = "56839";<br /> var guruji_ad_dcolor = "9303B";<br /> var guruji_ad_ucolor = "9303B"; <br /> var guruji_ad_keyword = "movies";<br /> var guruji_ad_width="300";<br /> var guruji_ad_height="250"; <br /> var guruji_ad_language ="3";<br /> var guruji_ad_contentType ="2"; <br /> var guruji_ad_open ="0"; <br /> --><br /> </script><br /> <script type="text/javascript" src="http://adguru.guruji.com/scripts/show_ads.js"></script><br /> <!-- Guruji AdGuru Integration Code Ends --><br />****************************************************************<br /><br />There is a group of 7 <span>Sardars </span>who plan to meet their old friend the<br />President Dr. Zail Singh <span style="font-size:10;"> </span>The <span>Sardars </span>decide to take a taxi. <span style="font-size:10;"> </span>The taxi driver takes them to Rashtrapati Bhavan. <span style="font-size:10;"> </span>The meter shows Rs. 28/-, so the taxi driver says, "You have to pay me<br />Rs.<br />28/-." <span style="font-size:10;"> </span>Now, the <span>Sardars </span>have to share the cost among themselves and so they<br />decide<br />to divide the total (Rs. 28/-) by the number of people, i.e . 7.<br />This is how they do the calculation to arrive at the answer:<br />____<br />7 | 28 = 13 ( 7 x 1 = 7, 7 x 3 = 21 ).<br />7<br />--<br />21<br />21<br />--<br />0<br />-- <span style="font-size:10;"> </span>The driver is exceedingly happy upon receiving Rs. 13/- from each of<br />the<br /><span>Sardars</span><span>. </span>He thanks them profusely and the feeling of happiness is<br />writtern<br />on his face as he leaves them and proceeds his way. <span style="font-size:10;"> </span>Seeing this, the <span>Sardars </span>feel that they may have made a mistake. <span style="font-size:10;"> </span>They decide to ask Zail Singh about it. After all, the fellow was the<br />President of the nation! <span style="font-size:10;"> </span>They ask Zail Singh to check their calculation of the taxi fare. <span style="font-size:10;"> </span>Zail Singh ponders over the calculations and finally says, "See, I am<br />not<br />good at division. The process just boggles me but addition is something<br />I am<br />an expert at. Let us add all the amounts you guys gave to the taxi<br />driver<br />and check the result. This is how I do for those tax forms I get very<br />often. The process is slow but is sure." The other <span>sardars </span>nod their<br />heads<br />(?) in appreciation. <span style="font-size:10;"> </span>The President writes as shown below and also explains as he writes on:<br /> 13<br /> 13<br /> 13<br /> 13<br /> 13<br /> 13<br /> 13<br /> --<br /> 28<br /> --<br />i.e. 3+3+3+3+3+3+ 3= 21 and 21+1+1+1+1+1+ 1+1=28 so this checks out. <span style="font-size:10;"> </span>He then says, "Yes, it's correct. But I can also call my close friend<br />and<br />Finance man <span>Banta Singh</span>. <span style="font-size:10;"> </span><span>Banta Singh </span>arrives, and when told of the problem, he replies that<br />he<br />doesn't think it is a bad deal but says, "No problem! I will verify it<br />via<br />mathematical computation. I'll verify it with multiplication. That<br />is<br /></div><span style="font-family:Verdana;">the </span><br /><div style="text-align: left;font-family:arial;"> best technique for this, you see!" <span style="font-size:10;"> </span>While others watch in admiration, Banta Singh goes on to write as<br />shown:<br /> 13<br /> x7<br /> --- (7*3=21 ,7*1=7 so 21+7=28)<br /> 21<br /> + 7<br /> --<br /> 28 This checks out as well.<br /> --<br />Then he says, "This is really fine. There should be no problem,<br />President<br />Sahab. After all, it is correct in all the methods."<br /><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 153, 153);">*********************************************************************************</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 153, 153);">Our <span>sardarji </span>was filling up an application form for a job. He promptly filled the columns titled NAME,AGE,ADDRESS etc. Then </span><span style="color: rgb(51, 153, 153);">he the column SEX. He was not sure as to what to be filled there. After much thought he wrote THRICE A WEEK. On seeing this </span><span style="color: rgb(51, 153, 153);">in his appln. form, he was told that it was wrong and what they wanted it to be filled was either MALE or FEMALE. Again our </span><span style="color: rgb(51, 153, 153);">sardar thought for a long time before coming up with the answer PREFERABLY FEMALES.</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 0, 153);">**********************************************************************************</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 0, 153);"><span><span>Sardar </span><span>Garbhajan </span><span>singh </span></span>went for his usual morning walk. At one junction he found a crowd. One man holding a syringe on one </span><span style="color: rgb(51, 0, 153);">hand and the famous actress on the other hand. He threatens to inject the liquid which contain AIDS virus in to her body </span><span style="color: rgb(51, 0, 153);">unless he is given a ransom of 10 corers of Rupees . Police men are helplessly watching. At this moment Garbachen rushed to </span><span style="color: rgb(51, 0, 153);">the man and has a fight, he dropped the syringe, Police men arrested him. On the next day a ceremony is conducted to reward </span><span style="color: rgb(51, 0, 153);">Garbachen. The chief guest CM of punjab while giving away the reward asked to the Garbachen " We are proud of you How did you </span><span style="color: rgb(51, 0, 153);">show that much of courage even if you are aware of AIDS ?" Garbachen said "Sir I always wear a condom to avoid AIDS"</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(0, 102, 0);">************************************************************************************</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(0, 102, 0);">One man went to consult as he is very thin and doesn't grow well after having enough food, after diagnosis doctor said there </span><span style="color: rgb(0, 102, 0);">is a worm inside his stomach it eats everything you eat and the man asked for the treatment. Doctor prescribed the treatment </span><span style="color: rgb(0, 102, 0);">"From tomorrow onwards when you come to see myself come with a banana and an apple". The net day he came with a banana and an </span><span style="color: rgb(0, 102, 0);">apple. Doctor told him to eat the banana and insert the apple through his back hole. After one month treatment there is no </span><span style="color: rgb(0, 102, 0);">change except size of the back hole increased so that the apple can be thrown through the hole freely. He told the doctor " </span><span style="color: rgb(0, 102, 0);">Doctor there is no change in my physical condition after one month of treatment " Doctor told him "when you come tomorrow </span><span style="color: rgb(0, 102, 0);">come with a banana and a hammer instead of apple". The next day he came with banana and the hammer. Doctor let the man to eat </span><span style="color: rgb(0, 102, 0);">the banana first and wait for a five minutes while the worm come out from his stomach and told the ill fated patient "You </span><span style="color: rgb(0, 102, 0);">idiot trying to change my diet , where is my apple??" At the very moment the doctor thrashed the worm with the hammer and the </span><span style="color: rgb(0, 102, 0);">insect dead.</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);">**********************************************************************************</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);">This <span>sardarji </span>goes to see Jurassic Park and when the Dinosaurs start approaching, he was hiding under his seat when his </span><span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);">friend asks him ;kyon <span>sardarji</span><span>, </span>kya baat hai? Dar kyon lag raha hai cinema hi to hai.; Sardarji replies ;Aadmi hoon aur akkal </span><span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);">hai, pata hai ki cinema hai, lekin voh to janwar hai, usko kya pata"</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 153);">***********************************************************************************</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 153);">There's a funeral procession of a sardar going on a busy street. All the <span>sardars </span>in the 'mayyat' are dancing the bhangra and </span><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 153);">singing and general 'balle balle' is on. The people on the street find it strange that instead of mourning everyone is </span><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 153);">celebrating as if its marriage baraat. So one of them asks <span><span>Santa </span><span>Singh</span></span><span>, </span>;Singh Saab, aapka koi sage wala gujar gaya hai aur </span><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 153);">aap naach rahe ho?; .....comes the reply, ;Haan ji! Hai hi baat badi kushi ki!!! Aaj paheli baar ek sardar brain tumour se </span><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 153);">mara hai!!!;</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(0, 153, 0);">************************************************************************************</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(0, 153, 0);"><span>Santa </span>and <span>Banta </span>went to US They have stayed a five star hotel. <span>Santa </span>don't know how to use the European closet he dropped </span><span style="color: rgb(0, 153, 0);">everything in a packet and placed it on one of the leaves of the fan. <span>Banta </span>came and switch on the fan and everything spread </span><span style="color: rgb(0, 153, 0);">on the wall When the room boy came <span>Santa </span>gave a 10 dollars and told him to wash it off . But the Room boy gazed at it for a </span><span style="color: rgb(0, 153, 0);">five minutes and taken a 25 dollars from the pocket and told to Santa "I will give you this 25 dollars if you say how did u </span><span style="color: rgb(0, 153, 0);">do it so beautifully".</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(153, 51, 0);">************************************************************************************</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(153, 51, 0);"><span>Garbachan singh </span>was travelling from Calcutta to Bombay by a plane, There were one American, one Russian, one Pakistani and </span><span style="color: rgb(153, 51, 0);">some other passengers. Suddenly something went wrong pilot alarmed that plane lost it's control and some of the passengers </span><span style="color: rgb(153, 51, 0);">have to jump out to rescue the rest of them. Firstly the American jumped out saying "Jai America" again the condition didn't </span><span style="color: rgb(153, 51, 0);">change then the Russian jumped out from the plane saying "Jai Russia". But the condition still the same. The next is </span><span style="color: rgb(153, 51, 0);">Garbachen's turn he hesitated for a moment and pulled out the Pakistani by saying "Jai India".</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(0, 51, 0);">***********************************************************************************</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(0, 51, 0);">A jet ran in to some turbulent weather. To keep passengers calm, the air hostess brought out the beverage carts.</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(0, 51, 0);">"I'd like a soda " said the passenger in the front row. Moving along, the air hostess asked the man behind her if he would </span><span style="color: rgb(0, 51, 0);">like something.</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(0, 51, 0);">"Yes I would," he replied. "Give me whatever the pilot is drinking!".</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);">***********************************************************************************</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);">"I'm going on vacation . Could you suggest a thrilling crime story ?" <span>Santa </span>asks to <span>Banta</span>. "Here this one is so suspenseful </span><span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);">you won't be able to put it down" replies <span>Banta</span><span>. </span>"only on the last page do you find out that the gardener did it".</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(102, 102, 0);">**********************************************************************************</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(102, 102, 0);"><span>Santa </span>meets <span>Banta</span></span><br /><span style="color: rgb(102, 102, 0);"><span>Santa</span><span>: </span>"so have you moved to a new house"</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(102, 102, 0);"><span>Banta</span><span>: </span>"No."</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(102, 102, 0);"><span>Santa</span><span>: </span>"Why not? You advertised to sell your old house, didn't you?"</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(102, 102, 0);"><span>Banta</span><span>: </span>"Yes, but when I read the ad, I realized it was just the home I was looking for!".</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(0, 153, 0);">**********************************************************************************</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(0, 153, 0);">One day <span>Sardar </span>happened to see a marathon race.</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(0, 153, 0);">"What the guys are doing" asked the <span>sardar</span>.</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(0, 153, 0);">" We are running a marathon. The winner will get prize" replied one runner.</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(0, 153, 0);">"Only the winner will get prize! Then why others are participating!!" Exclaimed the Sardar</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);">*******************************************************************************</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);">While at the college <span>Sardar </span>happened to watch the notice board.</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);">It reads: Invites suggestions for the modification of Ladies Room.</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);"><span>Sardar </span>writes under</span><span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);"> Let the men Permit to Enter</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(102, 0, 204);">*********************************************************************************</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(102, 0, 204);">Once, a <span style="font-weight: bold;">Hindu</span>, a <span style="font-weight: bold;">Sardar </span>and an <span style="font-weight: bold;">American </span>were travelling in an aeroplane. Suddenly, something went wrong and the engines </span><span style="color: rgb(102, 0, 204);">stalled. They had no parachutes with them. So all the three of them decided to risk their lives and jump out of their planes. </span><span style="color: rgb(102, 0, 204);">First, the <span style="font-weight: bold;">Sardar </span>jumped out. He removed his turban, used it as a parachute and jumped. Using the turban he slowly floated </span><span style="color: rgb(102, 0, 204);">down. Then the <span>Hindu </span>removed his dhoti and jumped out. Again his dhoti acted as a parachute and he also floated down gently. </span><span style="color: rgb(102, 0, 204);">Seeing this, the American removed his shirt and pant and jumped out. Unfortunately, they did not do well as a parachute and </span><span style="color: rgb(102, 0, 204);">he began to fall rapidly from the plane to the ground. He passed by the Hindu who said - " May Bhagwan help you". Then he </span><span style="color: rgb(102, 0, 204);">passed the <span>Sardar</span>. The <span>Sardar </span>looked at the American zooming past him and was puzzled. So he said - "I see! You want a race! </span><span style="color: rgb(102, 0, 204);">Let us see who is faster" Saying so, he let go of his turban.</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 204, 0);">**********************************************************************************</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 204, 0);">When <span>Gavaskar </span>finds out that there has been released, a movie, in Australia called "Gavaskar", he is very happy. He plans to </span><span style="color: rgb(51, 204, 0);">watch it and gets a ticket for Australia at once. With great difficulty he manages to get a ticket and very happily he goes </span><span style="color: rgb(51, 204, 0);">to see the movie. But when he comes out of the cinema he is very angry! He goes straight to the director of the movie and </span><span style="color: rgb(51, 204, 0);">says, "What do you mean by this? You named your movie '<span>Gavaskar</span>', but didnt show anything about me in it!". The director of </span><span style="color: rgb(51, 204, 0);">the movie laughs and says, "So now you understand the problem? You people too made a movie called '<span>Border</span>', but did you show </span><span style="color: rgb(51, 204, 0);">anything about <span>Allan </span><span>Border </span>in it?"</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(102, 102, 0);">***********************************************************************************</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(102, 102, 0);">A <span><span>Punjabi </span><span>Sardar </span></span>and a Bengali Babu were talking about their State's patriotic history during the freedom struggle. The </span><span style="color: rgb(102, 102, 0);">debate heated up and both ended up claiming that their state had the maximum number of freedom fighters. They finally agreed </span><span style="color: rgb(102, 102, 0);">on a method to find which of the states had more freedom fighters. Each person would say the name of a freedom fighter from </span><span style="color: rgb(102, 102, 0);">his state and pull one hair out of his opponents head. Both of them began earnestly. "Bhagat Singh" said the <span>Sardar </span>and </span><span style="color: rgb(102, 102, 0);">pulled one hair from the <span>Bengali</span>. "Netaji" said the <span>Bengali </span>and did the same. They continued like this for some time, but </span><span style="color: rgb(102, 102, 0);">soon exhausted all known freedom fighters. The <span>Bengali</span>, however, was very clever. He used <span>Sardar</span>'s ignorance and reeled off a </span><span style="color: rgb(102, 102, 0);">lot of imaginary names. The Punjabi was stuck. He did not know any more Punjabi freedom fighter's name. He thought deeply for </span><br /><span style="color: rgb(102, 102, 0);">a moment, jumped on the Bengali's head and pulled all his hair out shouting - "JallianWala Bagh".</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 102, 102);">********************************************************************************</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 102, 102);"><span>Sardarji </span>is trying to commit suicide on the railway tracks and he takes along some wine and chicken with him. Somebody stops </span><span style="color: rgb(255, 102, 102);">him and asks "kyon bhai, ye sab kyon leke baithe ho?" (Why do you take these things with you?). <span>Sardarji </span>replies "Saali train </span><span style="color: rgb(255, 102, 102);">late aati hai kahin bhook se na marjaun" (If the stupid train comes late, I will die of hunger!)</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(102, 102, 0);">********************************************************************************</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(102, 102, 0);"><span><span>Banta </span><span>Singh </span></span>finished his English exam and came out. His friends asked him how did he do his exam, for that he replied ; Exam </span><span style="color: rgb(102, 102, 0);">was okay, but for the past tense of THINK, I thought, and thought, and thought ... and at last I wrote THUNK !!!;</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(0, 153, 0);">********************************************************************************</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(0, 153, 0);"><span>sardarji </span>is walking the other day and comes across a banana peel on the road. Can you guess what he might be thinking?? Saala </span><span style="color: rgb(0, 153, 0);">aaj bhi girna padega!!!</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 255);">**********************************************************************************</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 255);"><span><span>Banta </span><span>Singh </span></span>dialed to talk to his dear pal <span>Santa </span><span>Singh </span>"Is that 6545224?." asked <span>Banta </span><span>Singh</span>. "No this is 6545225." came the </span><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 255);">reply. After thinking for few seconds <span>Banta </span><span>Singh </span>replied "No matter, please call Mr. <span><span>Santa </span><span>Singh </span></span>from next door</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);">**********************************************************************************</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);">An Englishman, an American and a <span>Sardarji </span>are called upon to test a lie detector .The Englishman says: "I think I can empty </span><span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);">20 bottles of beer".</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);">BUZZZZZZ, goes the lie detector.</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);">"Ok", he says, "10 bottles".</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);">And the machine is silent.</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);">The American says: "I think I can eat 15 hamburgers".</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);">BUZZZZZZ, goes the lie detector.</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);">"All right, 8 hamburgers".</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);">And the machine's silent.</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);">The <span>Sardarji </span>says: "I think...", BUZZZZZZ goes the machine.</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(153, 51, 0);">**********************************************************************************</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(153, 51, 0);"><span>Santa </span>and <span>Banta </span>work in a software company. One day, they were to move their m/cs to another building. <span>Santa </span>was having a </span><span style="color: rgb(153, 51, 0);">tough time carrying his machine.</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(153, 51, 0);"><span>Santa </span>: "My m/c has 500 MB disk.</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(153, 51, 0);">See how easily I am carrying it. Yours has just 250 MB.</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(153, 51, 0);">Can't you carry even this much?"</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(153, 51, 0);"><span>Banta </span>: "But yours is empty and my disk is full"!!!</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(0, 153, 0);">***********************************************************************************</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(0, 153, 0);">Once <span><span>Santa </span><span>Singh </span></span>was riding a cycle and he suddenly hit a girl!</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(0, 153, 0);">So girl shouted, 'Sala ghanti nahi maar sakta tha!!!'</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(0, 153, 0);">And <span>sardarji </span>replied, 'Poori cycle to maar di ab ghanti alag se</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(0, 153, 0);">maroon??!!!'</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 255);">-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 255);">Help....</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 255);">The Titanic is going to be drowned.... Everybody in the ship is</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 255);">shouting,</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 255);">crying, running or praying to God...</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 255);">Just then an Italian asks the nearby Sardarji in the ship.</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 255);">Italian : How far is land, from here ?</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 255);"><span>Sardarji </span>: Two miles ..</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 255);">Italian : Only two miles, Then why are these fools making noise. I have</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 255);">got</span><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 255);"> the experience of swimming even more. The Italian jumps off the ship</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 255);">into</span><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 255);"> the sea and comes up to the layer to ask something again.</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 255);">Italian : Just tell me which side, is land two miles from here?</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 255);"><span>Sardarji </span>: Downwards......</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(204, 51, 204);">----------------------------------------------------------------------</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(204, 51, 204);">Once a <span>sardar </span>was looking at a WANTED poster & was wondering -</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(204, 51, 204);">Saala wanted tha to photo kheenchne ke baad use jaane kyon diya ?</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);">---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);"><span>Sardar </span>car ki battery change karwane gaya ...</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);">Mechanic - Sahab, Exide ki daal doon ?</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);"><span>Sardar </span>- Nahin yaar, dono side ki daal de, warna phir problem hogi.</span><br /><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 255);">******************************************************************************</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 255);">A <span style="font-weight: bold;">Bihari </span>was waiting for his bus at the bus stop. Finally the bus arrives and he gets in. The bus is fully loaded with </span><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 255);"><span>sardarjis</span>. One <span>sardarji </span>orders <span style="font-weight: bold;">Bihari </span>to tell a joke. Now, the <span style="font-weight: bold;">Bihari </span>thinks he's in big trouble because he knows only <span style="font-weight: bold;">sardar </span></span><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 255);"><span style="font-weight: bold;">jokes</span>! After thinking for some time he decides to substitute all references to '<span>sardars</span>' in his <span>joke </span>with <span style="font-weight: bold;">'</span><span style="font-weight: bold;">Biharis</span><span style="font-weight: bold;">'. </span>He </span><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 255);">starts the jokes with, "There was once a <span>Bihari</span>..." And suddenly he gets a major blow on his back from one of the sardarjis </span><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 255);">who shouts, "Kyon be! Sab <span>sardar </span>mar gaye hai kya?"</span><br /><br />******************************************************************************<br /><br />Two <span>sardarjis </span>were sitting outside a clinic. One of them was crying like anything. So the other asked,"Why are you crying?"<br /><br />The first one replied, "I came here for blood test" Second one asked," So? Are you afraid?" First one replied,"No, not that.<br /><br />During the blood test they cut my finger" Hearing this the second one started crying. The first one was astonished and asked other, "Why are you crying?" The other replied, "I have come for my urine test."<br /></div>Pawan Kumar Singhhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06649500541937172983noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3979947554385035424.post-6076430858836600802007-06-01T11:42:00.003+05:302010-01-15T22:29:00.724+05:30Sardar Jokes<div style="text-align: left;"><span><span style="font-size:100%;">Santa</span><span> </span><span>Singh </span></span>sent his bio data to America to apply for a post in Microsoft. A few days later he got this reply:- Dear Mr. Singh, You do not meet our requirements. Please do not send any further correspondence. No phone call shall be entertained. Thanks<br /></div><br /><span><span>Santa </span><span>singh </span></span>jumped with joy on receiving this reply. He arranged a party and when all the guests had come, he said Bhaiyon aur Behno,aap ko jaan kar khushi hogee ki mujhay america mein naukri mil gayee hai." Everyone was delighted. <span><span>Santa </span><span>singh </span></span>continued Ab main aap sab ko apnaa appointment letter padkar sunaongaa par letter english main hai isliyen saath-saath hindi main translate bhee kartaa jaongaa.<br /><br />Dear Mr. <span>Singh</span>-----pyare singh sahab<br /><br />You do not meet----aap to miltay hee naheen ho<br /><br />our requirement----humko to zaroorat hai<br /><br />Please do not send any furthur correspondance----ab letter vetter bhejnay kee zaroorat nahee hai.<br /><br />No phone call ----phone vone kee bhee zaroorat nahee hai<br /><br />shall be entertained----bahut khaatir kee jayegi.<br /><br />Thanks----aapkaa bahut bahut shukriya<br /><br />**************************************************************************<br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(204, 0, 0);">A <span>Sardar </span>died and went to heaven. When he got to the pearly gate Saint Peter told him that new rules here in effect due to the advances in education on earth. In order to gain admittance a prospective heavenly soul must answer two questions:</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(204, 0, 0);">1. Name two days of the week that begin with "T".</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(204, 0, 0);">2. How many seconds are there in a year?</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(204, 0, 0);">The <span>Sardar </span>thought for a few minutes and answered...</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(204, 0, 0);">1. The two days of the week that begin with "T" are Today and Tomorrow.</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(204, 0, 0);">2. There are 12 seconds in a year. Saint Peter said, "OK, Ill buy the Today and Tomorrow answer, even though its not the answer I expected.</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(204, 0, 0);">But how did you get 12 seconds in a year?" The Singh replied, "Well, January 2nd, February 2nd, March 2nd, etc..." Saint Peter opens the gate without another word.</span><br /><br />********************************************************************************<br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);">One <span>Sardar </span>was enjoying Sun on a Beach in <span>America</span>. A lady came and asked him, " Are you relaxing" <span>Sardar </span>answered '" No I am <span><span>Banta </span><span>Singh</span></span>"<span> </span>Another Guy Came and asked the same Question. <span>Sardar </span>answered " No No Me <span><span>Banta </span><span>Singh</span></span>" Third one came and asked the same question <span>Sardar </span>was totally annoyed and decided to shift his place. While walking he saw another <span>Sardar </span>enjoying the Beach. He went and asked him " Are you Relaxing?" The other <span>Sardar </span>was much educated and answered "Yes I am relaxing " Our <span>Sardar </span>slapped him on his face and said, "Salay, Sab tere Ko wahah doond rahe hai aur tu Yahaan Aaram Kar raha hai."</span><br /><br />************************************************************<br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 255);">After making a trip of South India , <span><span>Santa </span><span>Singh </span></span>,his wife and his son were returning to <span>punjab </span>in Tamilnadu Express. <span><span>Santa </span><span>Singh </span></span>was occupying the lower berth, his wife the middle berth and his son the top most berth in the train. When the train stopped at one of the stations on the way back the son requested <span><span>Santa </span><span>Singh </span></span>to bring him a cup of Ice cream to which <span>Santa </span>readily agreed. When <span>Santa </span>and his son returned they found that a South Indian who couldn't understand <span>hindi </span>had occupied his son's birth . Outraged, <span><span>Santa </span><span>Singh </span></span>called the TT and asked him to help. TT requested that he could not understand <span>Hindi</span>/<span>Punjabi </span>so it would be better if <span><span>Santa </span><span>Singh </span></span>explained the whole situation to him in <span>English</span>. <span><span>Santa </span><span>Singh </span></span>explained , " That man sleeping on top of my wife is not giving birth to my child."</span><br /><br />************************************************************<br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(0, 51, 0);">A <span>Sardarji </span>and an American are seated next to each other on a flight from Los Angeles to New York. The American asks if he would like to play a fun game.</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(0, 51, 0);">The <span>Sardarji</span><span>, </span>tired, just wants to take a nap, so he politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few winks.</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(0, 51, 0);">The American persists and explains that the game is easy and a lot of fun. He says, "I ask you a question, and if you don't know the answer, you pay me five dollars, and vice versa."</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(0, 51, 0);">Again, he declines and tries to get some sleep.</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(0, 51, 0);">The American, now agitated, says, "Okay, if you don't know the answer, you pay me $5,and if I don't know the answer, I will pay you $500."</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(0, 51, 0);">This catches the <span>Sardarji</span><span>'</span>s attention and, figuring there will be no end to this torment, agrees to the game.</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(0, 51, 0);">The <span>American </span>asks the first question: "What's the distance from the earth to the moon?"</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(0, 51, 0);">The <span>Sardarji </span>doesn't say a word, reaches into his wallet,pulls out a $5.00 bill, and hands it to the American.</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(0, 51, 0);">"Okay," says the American, "your turn".</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(0, 51, 0);">He asks, "What goes up a hill with three legs and comes down with four legs?"</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(0, 51, 0);">The <span>American</span><span>, </span>puzzled, takes out his laptop computer & searches all his preferences........no answer. He taps into the air phone with his modem and searches the Internet and the Library of Congress... no answer.</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(0, 51, 0);">Frustrated, he sends e-mails to all his friends and coworkers but to no avail.</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(0, 51, 0);">After an hour, he wakes the <span>Sardarji </span>and hands him $500.</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(0, 51, 0);">The <span>Sardarji </span>thanks him and turns back to get some more sleep.</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(0, 51, 0);">The <span>American</span>, who is more than a little miffed, stirs the <span>Sardarji </span>and asks, "Well, what's the answer?"</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(0, 51, 0);">Without a word, the <span>Sardarji </span>reaches into his purse,hands the <span>american </span>$5,and goes back to sleep.</span><br /><br />*****************************************************************************<br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(153, 0, 0);">A <span>sardarji </span>comes up to the <span>Pakistan </span>border on his bike. He's got two large bags over his shoulders.</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(153, 0, 0);">The guard Iqbal stops him and says, 'What's in the bags?' 'Sand,' answered the <span>Sardarji</span><span>.</span></span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(153, 0, 0);">Iqbal says, 'We'll just see about that. Get off the bike.'</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(153, 0, 0);">Iqbal's guard takes the bags and rips them apart, he empties them out and finds nothing in them but sand. He detains the <span>sardarji </span>all night and has the sand analyzed, only to discover that there is nothing but pure sand in the bags. Iqbal releases the <span>sardaji</span><span>, </span>puts the sand into new bags, hefts them onto the <span>sardarji</span><span>'</span>s shoulders, and lets him cross the border.</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(153, 0, 0);">A week later, the same thing happens. Iqbal asks, 'What have you got?' 'Sand,' says the <span>Sardarji</span><span>.</span></span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(153, 0, 0);">Iqbal does his thorough examination and discovers that the bags contain nothing but sand. He gives the sand back to the <span>Sardar</span><span>, </span>and crosses the border on his bike. This sequence of events is repeated every day for three years.</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(153, 0, 0);">Finally, the <span>Sardarji </span>doesn't show up one day and the guard, Iqbal, meets him in a 'Dhaba' in Islamabad.</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(153, 0, 0);">'Hey, Buddy,' says Iqbal, 'I know you are smuggling something. It's driving me crazy. It's all I think about...I can't sleep. Just between you and me, what are you smuggling?'</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(153, 0, 0);">The <span>Sardaji</span><span>, </span>sips his Lassi and says, 'Bikes'</span><br /><br />***************************************************************************<br /><br /><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(153, 0, 0);">Fifteen minutes into the flight from Mankuwa City to Sukhpur city, the captain announced, "Ladies and gentlemen, one of our engines has failed.. There is nothing to worry about. Our flight will take an hour longer than scheduled, but we still have three engines left." Thirty minutes later the captain announced, "One more engine has failed and the flight will take an additional two hours. But don't worry ... we can fly just fine on two engines." An hour later the captain announced, "One more engine has failed and our arrival will be delayed another three hours.But don't worry ... we still have one engine left." A <span>sardarji </span>passenger turned to the man in the next seat and remarked, "If we lose one more engine, we'll be up here all day!"</span><br /><br />************************************************************************<br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 102, 0);">Three men were applying for the same job as a detective. One was a <span>Sardarji</span><span>, </span>one was Jewish, and one was Italian. The chief decided to ask each applicant just one question and base his decision upon that answer. When the Jewish man arrived for his interview, the chief asked him, "Who killed Jesus Christ?" The Jewish man answered without hesitation. "The Romans killed him." The chief thanked him and he left. When the Italian man arrived for his interview, the chief asked the Same question. He replied "Jesus was killed by the Jews." Again, the chief thanked the man who then left. Finally the <span>Sardarji </span>arrived for his interview, he was asked the same question. He thought for a long time, before saying,"Could I have some time to think about it?" The chief said,"OK, but get back to me tomorrow." When the <span>Sardarji </span>arrived home, his wife asked "How was the interview ?". <span>Sardarji </span>replied, "Great, I got the job, and I'm already investigating a murder.</span><br /><br />***************************************************************************<br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(0, 153, 0);">Talking about those days when there were no mosquito repellents and we had to spend sleepless nights. <span>Sardarji </span>was also experiencing the same every time. he tries to sleep,one mosquito comes and disturbs his sleep with a sound "guooonn, guooonn." He gets very irritated. He tries to cover his ear but the problem remains persistent. Ultimately he gets up and catches the mosquito in his hand. He is very kind and not for the blood shed but still wanted to take revenge. Happy as he is now starts singing a lullaby and says "so ja machchar, bete so ja". After some time he finds the mosquito falling into deep sleep in his hands. So he goes near it and says "Guoooonnnnn, guoooonnnnn."</span><br /><br />******************************************************************************<br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(0, 51, 0);"><span><span>Santa </span><span>Singh </span></span>applied for an engineering position at DEMAN CONSTRUCTION office in Amritsar. Reddy from Chennai applied for the same job and both applicants having the same qualifications were asked to take a test by the Department manager Mr. Arvin Singh. Upon completion of the test, the results showed that both men only missed one of the questions. The manager went to Santa and said, "Thank you for your interest, but we've decided to give the job to Reddy". <span>Santa</span>: And why would you be doing that? We both got 9 questions correct. This being Punjab I should get the job!" Manager: "We have made our decision not on the correct answers, but on the one question that you got wrong. "<span>Santa</span>: "And just how would one incorrect answer be better than the other?" Manager: "Simple, for the question that both of you got wrong, Reddy put down 'I don't know' as the answer. And you wrote 'Neither do I'!"</span><br /><br />***************************************************************************<br /><span style="color: rgb(204, 0, 0);"><br />A <span>sardar </span>wanted to sell his old battered Maruti car which had done more than</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(204, 0, 0);"> 100,000 kms. Since no body was inclined to buy it, he approached his friend to</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(204, 0, 0);"> help him dispose it off. The friend advised him to have the mileage meter</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(204, 0, 0);"> reading reduced to around 30,000 kms so that he could tell the prospective</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(204, 0, 0);"> customer that it has been used sparingly. The <span>sardar </span>liked the idea. A few</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(204, 0, 0);"> weeks later the same friend met him and enquired whether he was able to</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(204, 0, 0);"> dispose off his car. The <span>sardar </span>replied, "Are you mad? Who sells a car which</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(204, 0, 0);"> has done only 30000 kms!</span><br /><br />***************************************************************************<br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(102, 51, 51);">A <span>Sardarjee </span>reported for his University final examination which consists of</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(102, 51, 51);"> "yes/no" type questions. he takes his seat in the examination hall, stares at</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(102, 51, 51);"> the question paper for five minutes, and then in a fit of inspiration takes</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(102, 51, 51);"> his wallet out, removes a coin and starts tossing the coin and marking the</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(102, 51, 51);"> answer sheet - Yes for Heads and No for Tails. Within half an hour he is all</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(102, 51, 51);"> done whereas the rest of the class is sweating it out. During the last few</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(102, 51, 51);"> minutes, he is seen desperately throwing the coin, swearing and sweating. The</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(102, 51, 51);"> moderator, alarmed, approaches him and asks what is going on. "I finished the</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(102, 51, 51);"> exam in half and hour. But, I am rechecking my answers</span><br /><br />*************************************************************************<br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 255);"><span><span>Santa </span><span>Singh </span></span>needed some money desperately. Someone told him that if goes & prays at Gurudwara, Mosque, Church & a temple, that his prayers will surely be answered. So <span>Santa </span>goes to a Gurudwara, & prays there. Then he goes to a Mosque and prays there. Than he goes to a church and prays there. Then he goes to a Shiv temple. The temple had a large Lord Shiva statue. <span>Santa </span>closes his eyes, bows his head, joins his hands and says his prayer.</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 255);"> <span>Santa</span>: "Ho Jee tussee itne vadde ho. Itne mahan ho. Saannoo 100 rupayen chahiye. Kirpa karo."</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 255);">The priest saw <span>Santa </span>praying. He wante to help <span>Santa</span>, but knew that a Sikh will never accept the money. So he drops a 100 rupee note, from behind the statue, so that Santa can not see him.</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 255);"> After <span>Santa </span>had said his prayers, and opened his eyes. He saw the note and thought that god has listened to his prayers. He takes the note and goes away. However he is back again next day for money. Now the priest is really annoyed with <span>Santa</span>. The Priest decides that he is not going to give any more money to Santa. </span><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 255);">He changes the big Shivji statue with smaller one of Ganapathi that day. Once again Santa goes to the prayer room. However he does not notice the difference. Santa closes his eyes, bows his head, joins his hands and says his prayer. Santa: "Ho Jee tussee itne vadde ho. Itne mahan ho. Ajj to saannoo 50 rupayen hi chahiye. Kirpa karo." After that he slowly opens his eyes and does not find any money.</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 255);"><span>Santa</span><span>: </span>"O papa jee tussee itne vadde ho. Itne mahan ho. Asee 10 rupayen me hi kaam chala lenge. Kirpa karo jee." After that he slowly opens his eyes and does not find any money. He slowly raises his head and now notices that small Ganapthi statue. He carefully looks left and than right, & than slowly moves a bit forward near the statue. Than he whispers to the Statue: "Beta, Papa kitthe hai?!?!!</span><br /><br />*********************************************************************************<br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 0, 153);"><span><span>Santa </span><span>Singh </span></span>and <span><span>Banta </span><span>Singh </span></span>both bought one horse each.</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 0, 153);">They wanted to make sure that they feed their own horse each morning. So <span><span style="font-weight: bold;">Santa Singh </span></span>asked "how will we know which is your </span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 0, 153);">and which is mine?"</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 0, 153);"><span><span style="font-weight: bold;">Banta Singh </span></span>said "its easy I will cut mine's tail, and yours will be the one with tail."</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 0, 153);">Some boys outside heard it and cut the tail of other horse too.</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 0, 153);">So the next morning confusion arose even more. <span><span style="font-weight: bold;">Santa Singh </span></span>said."don worry, ill tie a bell around its neck, yours will be the </span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 0, 153);">one without the bell."</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 0, 153);">The boys heard this too so they cut the bell.</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 0, 153);">The next day, <span><span style="font-weight: bold;">Santa Singh </span></span>got frustrated and said</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 0, 153);">"OKAY!! now the last criteria will be that:</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 0, 153);">WHITE HORSE will be yours and BLACK HORSE will be mine."</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);">---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);"><br /><span style="color: rgb(0, 153, 0);"> <span>Sardarji </span>bought a brand new Maruti and decided to drive down from Amritsar, where he lived, to Jalandar to meet his friend. </span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(0, 153, 0);">He reached there in a few hours. After spending a few days there, he decided to return, and called up his mother to expect </span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(0, 153, 0);">him in the evening. But he didn't reach in the evening and not the next day either. When he finally reached home on the </span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(0, 153, 0);">third day, his distraught mother ran and asked him " Arre Puttar, ki hoya?"</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(0, 153, 0);">(What Happened, My Son?)</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(0, 153, 0);"> The <span>Sardarji </span>got out, obviously very tired from a long journey, and said, "Oy, ye Marutti wale pagal hain, agge jaane waaste </span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(0, 153, 0);">chaar gear banaate hain, aur pichche jaane waaste sirf ik?" (These Maruti Car people are crazy! They have four gears for </span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(0, 153, 0);">going forward, but only one for going back!)</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);">---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- </span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(153, 102, 51);"> <span><span>Santa </span><span>Singh </span></span>decided to start a chicken farm so he bought a hundred chickens to begin with. A month later he returned to the </span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(153, 102, 51);">dealer for another hundred chickens because all of the first lot had died. A month later he was back at t he dealer for </span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(153, 102, 51);">another hundred chickens for the second lot had also died.</span><br /><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);"><span style="color: rgb(153, 102, 51);">'But I think I know where I'm going wrong,' said <span>Santa</span>, 'I think I'm planting them too deep.'</span><br /><br />************************************************************************************<br /><br /></span></span><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 255);">We have our famous friend <span>Santa </span><span>Singh </span>qualifying for the hot seat.</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 255);">( He pressed the buttons by accident and managed to qualify).</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 255);"><span><span>Amitabh </span><span>Bachchan </span></span>: OK Santa I congratulate you for this opportunity here</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 255);">with us.</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 255);"><span style="font-weight: bold;">Santa </span>: Oh ji Wahe guru da khalsa wahe guru di fateh. Chak denge phatte</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 255);">aaj.</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 255);"> Tusi start karo ji.</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 255);"><span>AB </span>: OK Santa this is your first question for 1000</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 255);">Rs. - 'Which state has the largest sikh population ?' and your options are</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 255);">:</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 255);">A. Punjab</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 255);">B. Punjab</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 255);">C. Punjab</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 255);">D. Punjab</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 255);"><span style="font-weight: bold;">Santa </span>: Oh ji how much time do I've to answer this question</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 255);"><span>AB </span>: Samay ki koi pabandhi nahi hai Santa ji, you can t! ake your time</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 255);"><span style="font-weight: bold;">Santa </span>(giggles) : Sir ji tricky sawaal puchha hai aapne. I would like to</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 255);">use my lifeline.</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 255);"><span>AB </span>: I'm not surprised on this , which one wud U like to use.</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 255);"><span>Santa </span>: Audience poll</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 255);"><span>AB </span>: OK audience please be ready with your voting pads, and your time</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 255);">starts now.</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 255);"> After a minute we have a graphic presentation on the board.</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 255);">A. 25%</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 255);">B. 25%</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 255);">C. 25%</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 255);">D. 25%</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 255);"><span>AB </span>: <span>Santa </span>ji, this is a no good situation for you, I can share your</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 255);">disgust here.</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 255);"><span>Santa </span>: Yeh mere saath hi kyon hota hai. Fasa diya Sirji aapki audience</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 255);">ne.</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 255);"> I think I've to use my second lifeline - 50 50.</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 255);"><span>AB </span>: Very good ! 50 50 ka istemal karna chahenge. OK</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 255);">computer ji do galat jawab mita diye jayen.</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 255);">Computer displays A. Punjab and C. Punjab</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 255);"><span>Santa </span>: Badi chalu machine hai aapki sar ji. Mein chodoonga nahi aaj</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 255);">isko.</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 255);"> Wahe guru de kasam mereko third life line bhi chahiye.</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 255);"><span>AB </span>: Kamal hai Santa ji, I must congratulate you, You have record of</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 255);">using</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 255);"> all the lifelines in the very first question.</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 255);">This is great . OK phone a friend - kisko phone karna chahen ge aap.</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 255);"><span>Santa </span>: My one and only one... mera langotiya yaar., Banta Singh.</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 255);"><span>AB </span>: OK Banta ko phone lagaya jaye.</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 255);">Phone rings. Banta picks it 'Hulloooooo, kon hai oye adhi raati,???'</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 255);"><span>AB </span>: Hello <span>Banta </span>ji , mein Amitabh Bachhan bol raha hoon Star Plus ke</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 255);"> <span>Kaun </span><span>Banega </span><span>Crorepati </span>se.</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 255);"><span>Banta </span>: OOOOOOOOOO Bachan ji Sasriyakal, koi hor hota to uski to mein....</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 255);"> #_^_%_#_%_%_&. Ki hal chal he sar ji.</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 255);"><span>AB </span>: Mein thik hoon Banta ji, par ye ek family show hai is liye aap</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 255);"> apshabdon ka prayog na karen to behtar hoga. Aapke dost yahaan</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 255);"> bethe hain mere saath aur.................</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 255);"><span>Banta </span>(Interrupts) : Aur wo sala pehle hi question pe atak gayahoga,</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 255);"> khota hai sala. Sawal pucho ji.</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 255);"><span>AB </span>: Aapko sirf tees second .,.............chaliye mein aapko special</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 255);">case</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 255);"> karte hue 1 minute doonga. Aur aapka samay shuru hota hai aab.</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 255);"><span>Santa </span>: Oye bante ke ho raya hai yaar ??</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 255);"><span>Banta </span>: Oye ullu de dum, saale bahar se taala laga gaya khote. Sawere dud</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 255);"> wala aaya si, paise mang raya si, aur khotya tu meri kameez</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 255);">pehen</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 255);"> gaya. Sale chakki se aata lana tha, tera baap layega kya ??.</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 255);"><span>AB</span>: <span>Santa </span>ji kya kar rahe hain samay khatam ho raha hai.</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 255);"><span>Santa </span>: Yes Yes. Oye chod use yaar question hai ..... (he tells him the</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 255);">question).</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 255);"><span>Banta </span>: Saale sari zindagi tere nakal mar ke fail hota raha hoon, par iska</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 255);">answer</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 255);"> mujhe aata hai. Kalank hai tu Punjab ke naam pe. Iska answer</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 255);"><span>Punjab </span>hai</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 255);"> lallu.</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 255);"><span>Santa </span>: oye par ......... (and the clock stops).</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 255);"><span>AB </span>: Samay khatam, aapke mitr ne jawab de diya hai , ab to mujhe pakka</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 255);">confidence</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 255);"> hai ke aap kam se kam 1000 to le ke jayenge hi aaj.</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 255);"><span>Santa </span>: Ullu ka patha hai ji, ye to mujhe bhi pata hai par sale ne yeh</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 255);"> to batya nahin ke A hai ya C hai.</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 255);">And this was the last episode of <span>KBC </span>as most of the audience died</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 255);">laughing...</span>Pawan Kumar Singhhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06649500541937172983noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3979947554385035424.post-30146726298380583782007-05-31T10:13:00.002+05:302010-01-15T22:28:30.684+05:30Mix Jokes<div style="text-align: left;"><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 255);">Do you know of a <span><a href="http://www.indialaugh.blogspot.com/">Sardar</a></span><span style="font-weight: bold;"> </span>who parked his car in</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 255);">front of board which said FINE FOR PARKING</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 255);">-----------------</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 255);">A drunk was hauled into court.</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 255);">Mister, the judge began, you've been brought</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 255);">here for drinking..</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 255);">Great, the drunk exclaimed. When do we get started?</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 255);">-----------------</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 255);">Can you do anything that other people can't?</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 255);">Sure, I can read my handwriting..</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 255);">-----------------</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 255);">When a wife was asked: What book do you like the best?</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 255);">She answers: My husband's cheque book..</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 255);">----------------</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 255);"><span>Girlfriend</span>: And are you sure you love me and no one else?</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 255);"><span>Boyfriend</span>: Dead Sure! I checked the whole list again yesterday.</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 255);">----------------</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 255);">My father is so old that when he was in school, history</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 255);">was called current affairs.</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 255);">----------------</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 255);"><span>Teacher</span>: Now, children, if I saw a man beating a donkey</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 255);">and stopped him, what virtue would I be Showing?</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 255);"><span>Student</span>: Brotherly love.</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 255);">-----------------</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 255);"><span style="font-weight: bold;">Teacher</span>: Now, Sam, tell me frankly do you say prayers before eating?</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 255);">Sam : No sir, I don't have to, my mom is a good cook.</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 255);">------------------</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 255);">Manager: Sorry, but I can't give u a job. I don't need much help. Job</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 255);">Applicant: That's all right. In fact I'm just the right person in</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 255);">this case. You see, I won't be of much help anyway!!</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 255);">--------------------</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 255);"><span style="font-weight: bold;">Dad</span>: Son, what do u want for ur birthday?</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 255);"><span style="font-weight: bold;">Son</span>: Not much dad, Just a radio with a sports car around it.</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 255);">--------------------</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 255);"><span style="font-weight: bold;">Teacher</span>: Desmond, your composition on "My Dog" is exactly the same as</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 255);">your brother's. Did u copy his?</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 255);">Desmond: No, teacher, it's the same dog!</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 255);">--------------------</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 255);">Diner: I can't eat such a rotten chicken. Call the manager!</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 255);">Waiter: It's no use. He won't eat it either.</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 255);">--------------------</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 255);">Diner: You'll drive me to my grave!</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 255);">Waiter: Well, you don't expect to walk there, do you?</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 255);">---------------------</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 255);"><span style="font-weight: bold;">Husband</span>: U know, wife, our son got his brain from me.</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 255);"><span style="font-weight: bold;">Wife</span>: I think he did, I've still got mine with me!</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 255);">--------------------</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 255);"><span style="font-weight: bold;">Man</span>: Officer! There's a bomb in my garden!</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 255);">Officer: Don't worry. If no one claims it within three days</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 255);">, you can keep it.</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 255);">------------------</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 255);"><span style="font-weight: bold;">Father</span>: Your teacher says she finds it impossible to</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 255);">teach you anything!</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 255);"><span style="font-weight: bold;">Son</span>: That's why I say she's no good!</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 255);">--------------</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 255);">Should <span style="font-weight: bold;">women </span>have children after 35</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 255);">No, 35 children are more than enough!</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 255);">----------------</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 255);">No one has ever complained of a parachute not</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 255);">opening..</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 255);">----------------</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 255);">Living on Earth may be expensive, but it</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 255);">includes an annual free trip around the Sun..</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 255);">----------------</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 255);"><span style="font-weight: bold;">Children </span>in backseats cause accidents</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 255);">Accidents in backseats cause children !</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 255);">*****************************************************************************</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 255);"><span style="font-weight: bold;">funny questions </span>& <span style="font-weight: bold;">answers</span></span><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 255);"><span style="font-weight: bold;">Question </span>: You are in a boat in the middle of a river. You have 2</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 255);">Cigarettes and have to light any one cigarette. You don't have anything</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 255);">else with you in the boat? How will you do it?</span><br /><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 255);"><span style="font-weight: bold;">Answer</span>: Take one cigarette and throw it in the water. So the boat will</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 255);">become LIGHTER........using this LIGHTER you can light the other</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 255);">Cigarette</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 255);">another deadly answer. Scroll down a little</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 255);">.</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 255);">.</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 255);">.</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 255);">.</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 255);">.</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 255);">Anoth! er solution: You throw a cigarette up and catch it. Catches win</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 255);">Matches. Using the matches that you win, you can light the cigarette</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 255);">If that was not enough, one more deadly answer.... scroll down.</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 255);">.</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 255);">.</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 255);">.</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 255);">.</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 255);">.</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 255);">.</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 255);">Take water in your hand and drop it drop by drop...(TIP - TIP)</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 255);">"TIP TIP barsa Pani.</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 255);">Pani ne aag lagayee."</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 255);">us aag se hamne cigarette jalayee".</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 255);">.</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 255);">.</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 255);">.</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 255);">.</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 255);">.</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 255);">.</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 255);">If that was not enough, one more deadly answer.... scroll down</span><br /><br /><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 255);">Start praising one cigarette, The other will get jealous & "jalney</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 255);">lagega"</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);">********************************************************************************</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);"> <span style="font-weight: bold;">SOME FUNNY CONVERSIONS</span>.......</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);">RAM SITA HAI ... TO RAM KAUN HAI ??</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);">Ans - . TAILOR ( darzi )</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);">Q2. SITA RAM HAI TO SITA KAUN HAI</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);">Ans - . Sita MEMORY hai (RAM: Random Access Memory)</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);">Q3. <span style="font-weight: bold;">Prasad </span>ask's <span style="font-weight: bold;">Kumble </span>to bring a pepsi... <span style="font-weight: bold;">Kumble </span>brings a bottle of pepsi</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);">but goes directly to <span style="font-weight: bold;">Tendulkar</span>.? why ?? why ?? :-)</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);">Ans:- <span style="font-weight: bold;">Tendulkar </span>is an opener</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);">Q5. Woh kya hai jo Dil main hain, Mann main hai par Dhadkan main nahi?</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);">Ans:- aarey <span style="font-weight: bold;">Aamir Khan </span>!!!!!!!</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);">Q6. What will! u call a person who is leaving <span style="font-weight: bold;">India </span>??</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);">Socho...............</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);">Ans:- Hindustan Lever (Leaver).</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);">Q7. Kalidas ka ek bhai joote banata tha us ka naam kya tha?</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);">Ans:- adidas</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);">Q8. Luv and Kush are going to a village & in between comes a well. Luv falls</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);">into the well. Why ?</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);">Ans:- Because Luv is blind!!!!!</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);">Now Kush also jumps inside. Why? OK lot's of head scratching done.</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);">Ans:- Luv ke liye saala kuch bhi karega!!!!</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);">Want one more...</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);">Q9. <span style="font-weight: bold;">Jackie Chan </span>ki saas ka naam kya hai?.. nahi pata..??</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);">Ans:- D'Cold chain ki saans !!!!!!<br /><br />*************************************************************************<br /></span><span style=";font-family:Times New Roman;font-size:100%;" ><span style="font-size:12;"><br /><img style="width: 499px; height: 1043px;" src="http://mail.google.com/mail/?realattid=0.2&attid=0.2&disp=emb&view=att&th=113f82878f6ce34f" /></span></span><br /></div>Pawan Kumar Singhhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06649500541937172983noreply@blogger.com11tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3979947554385035424.post-48780176172995505382007-05-31T10:11:00.002+05:302010-01-15T22:30:15.114+05:30Filmi JokesAfter giving up 'goondagiri', Veeru has now joined an Indian body shopper and has become a Computer Consultant. Jay goes to Mausi for 'Basanti kaa haath mangane'..........<br />MAUSI: Bura nahin maanna beta, itna to poochna hi padtha hai ki ladke ka khandaan kya hai, uske lakshan kaise hain, kamaata kitna hai, US me masters kiya he...<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">AMITABH</span>: kamaane ka to ye hai mausi, ki ek baar biwi baccho ki jimmewari sar pe aa gai, to consultant ka kaam chod kar regular employee hoga aur phir kamaane bhi lagega.<br />MAUSI: to kya abhi kucch bhi nahin kamaata?<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">AMITABH</span>: nai, nai, ye maine kab kahaa mausi. kamaata hai lekin, ab roj roj to 'client' mil nahi sakta na, kabhi kabhi "BENCH" per baith jaata hai bechara.<br />MAUSI: BENCH pe bhi aana jana hai?<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">AMITABH</span>: haan mausi, ab ye kambakht Computer Consultancy cheej hi aisi hai. Aur bench par to bade bade log jeseke Bill Gates, Andrew Grove, Larry Ellison bhi betha karte the.<br />MAUSI: to kya programmer hai?<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">AMITABH</span>: chee, chi, chi, chee, chee! wo aur programmer? NAA! NAA!! wo to bahut hi acchhaa aur nek ladka hai, lekin waise ek baar kisi desi body shopper ke haat lag jaye na phir 'language/RDBMS/QA' ka kahaan hosh rahta hai! haath pakad ke 'IDMS' ya 'QA'karvaane bithadiya desi ne, ab isme bechaare Veeru ka kya dosh.<br />MAUSI: theek kahte ho beta, programmer woh, DBA woh, DESI ke paas kaam karta hai woh, lekin uska koi dosh nahin.<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">AMITABH</span>: mausi aap to mere dost ko galat samajh rahen hai, wo to itna seedha aur bhola hai, arey Basanti se uski shaadi kar ke to dekhiye, ye 'programming', 'DBA' aur 'client ke paas jane ki aadat' to do din main chhoot jayegi.<br />MAUSI: arey beta is budhiya ko samjha rahe ho! apne COMPUTER CONSULTANTS ko chod dene ki aadat kisi body shopper ki chhooti hai aaj tak?<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">AMITABH</span>: mausi aap Veeru ko nahin jaanti, biswaas kijiye wo is tarah ka insaan nahin hai. ek baar shaadi ho gai to wo 'PAGER' bhi rakhna band kar dega, bas PROGRAMMING apne aap chhoot jayegi.<br />MAUSI: hai raam, bas yehi ek kami baaki rah gai thi, to kya PAGER bhi rakhta hai?<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">AMITABH</span>: to usme kaun si buri baat hai mausi, arey PAGER to PRESIDENT,VP, CEO aur unchey-unchey log rakhte hai haan.<br />MAUSI: accha! to beta ye bhi batate jaao ki tumhare ye gunwaan dost assal me kis company ke employee hai?<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">AMITABH</span>: bas mausi, hum 'trace' kar rahe hai, original HI milte hi company ka pata chal jayega aur hum aapko khabar de denge.<br />MAUSI: ek baat ki daad dungi beta, bhale sow buraiyaan hon tumhare dost main, phir bhi tumhare muh se uske liye tareef hi nikalti hai.<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">AMITABH</span>: kya karoon mausi, hum body shoppers log hi kucch aise hai. to ye rista pakka samjhoon.<br />MAUSI: pakka! bhale saari jindagi ladki kuwaari baithi rahe,lekin aise aadmi se Basanti ko nahin byahne waali, sagi mausi hoon koi sauteli maan nahin.<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">AMITABH</span>: ajeeeeb baaat hai, mere itne samjhaane par bhi aapne inkaar kar diya, bechaara <span style="font-weight: bold;">Veeru</span>, na jaane ab agla client kaha milega!!<br />************************************************<br /><br />After the grand failure of epic <span style="font-weight: bold;">film </span>'Gandhi' at the box office, Richard Attenborough appointed a committee of renowned and successful Bollywood.<br />It was decided that name of the <span style="font-weight: bold;">film </span>'Gandhi' was not colourful. Following names were suggested:<br />Lathi Bani JWAALA<br />Charkha Gaye Geet Sunaye<br />Adventures of Kasturba & Mohan in South Africa<br />Khaadi Rang Layegi<br />GANDHI ki AANDHI<br />Deshpremi<br />Khaana Chhod Dunga<br />UJDA Chaman<br />Saabarmati ka Dulaara<br />Aatma aur Mahaatma<br />Mahatma No. I<br />Charkhe ki Awaaz<br />Goray ki **** Pe Laathi Mar<br />Laathi se Ajaadi Tak<br />Gandhi No. I<br />Mission Gandhi<br />Mei Mohan tu Kastur<br />Mere Mohan Pyare<br />Fatichaar<br />Kadkaram Mohanlal<br />Mei Khiladi, Aur Mohan Anaadi<br />1947, A love story<br />Meri Kasturba, mera Pyar<br />Pattgayi Kastur<br /><br />It was also realized that the dialogues did not have that Bollywood fizz'. Following dialogues were suggested:<br />1.(Situation : First scene of the movie where Godse fires bullets into Gandhi's chest)<br />Nathuram : Isi din ka mujhe bachpan se intazaar tha, kamine, ab bachke kahan jayega?<br />Gandhi: Ye lo - tumhare saamne seena taanke khada hun. himmat hai to chala goli. Are, aisi goli ab tak nahi bani jo gandhi ka seena paarKare.<br />Nathuram fires...Gandhi dies on the spot.<br />Nathuram: Maa, maine tumhe diya hua vachan nibhaya hai. Ab tumhari aatma ko shanti milegi.<br /><br />2.(Situation : Gandhi is being thrown out of train in South Africa)<br />Gandhi: Ye kaisa insaaf hai bhagwan? Suna tha bhagwan ke ghar der hai, andher nahi. Ab tumhi meri laaj rakho bhagwan... (His baggage gets thrown out of the train behind him. His mother's photo is smashed to pieces. Gandhi looks at the photo, slowly his eyes turn red...his voice quivers...) Yaad rakhna kutton, ek din isi gaon me aakar subko dekh lunga, chun chun ke marunga, chun chun ke marunga.....<br /><br />3.(Situation : Kasturba is on her death bed, Gandhi is sitting beside her)<br />Kasturba: Ek vachan do mujhe, tum doosri shadi karoge.<br />Gandhi: Ye kya kah rahi ho Kasturi, bhala tumhare bina ji paaunga main?<br />Kasturba: Mujhe kuch nahi malum. Aaj ye vaada karo mujhse. Tabhi chainse marungi main.<br />Gandhi (tries to smile): Are pagli, is umar me bhala mujhse shadi kaunkarega?<br />Kasturba (laughs naughtily): Bas karo ji. Itna umar ka khayal hota to us Meeraben ke peeche pagal na hote tum...<br />Gandhi (suddenly realizes that the conversation is taking a dangerous turn...): Achcha ab tum baat mat karo. Doctor ne mana kiya hai...<br /><br />4. (Situation : Gandhi declares his umpteenth indefinite fast)<br />Kasturba: Aji sunte ho? Khana taiyaar hai...<br />Gandhi: Maine kaha naa ! Nahi khana hai mujhe khana..<br />Kasturba: Dekhoji ! Khane ne tumhara kya bigada hai? Do rotiyan kha lo aur phir jaha, jana hai chale jao. Main rokungi nahi. Aur dekho aaj maine tumhare liye gaajar ka halwa banaaya hai...<br />Gandhi (looks tempted): Achha tum kahti ho to kha leta hun.<br /><br />The committee suggested that a songless and danceless movie will never sell.<br />Following dance sequences were suggested:<br />1. A cabaret number by Huma Khan. This should be shown in order to depict the lavish lifestyle of the British<br />2. A Choli dance sequence (preferably by Madhuri Dixit or Urmila).The situation will be cultural festival in Saabarmati Ashram).<br />3. A dream sequence of Gandhi & Meeraben is desperately needed. The lyrics could be "Main meera tu Mohan..." or " Tu mera,tu mera, tu mera Satyavadi no 1."<br /><br /><br />*******************************************************************<br /><br />Clinton arrives in Mumbai and he gets so impressed by <span style="font-weight: bold;">Bollywood</span>. He wants to be in <span style="font-weight: bold;">Hindi movies </span>and he starts dreaming..<br />Bill was in the Oval office and he started singing "Yeh Bill Na hota bechara, kadam na hote awara.."<br />At that moment, Lewinsky, who was passing by, heard it and responded "Bill, Dhak dhak karne laga, mora jiyorra darne laga", And Bill, brimming with thrill, rushed and opened the door and realized he is the President of the USA.<br />So he paused and looked at her like Ajay Devgan from PTHHT. But Monica could hear Kumar Sanu's song, and said, "Dil-Bill, Pyar Wyar, Main kya janoo re"<br />He gazed into her eyes like Bobby Deol in Kareeb and sang "Chori Chori jab nazzare mili, chori chori jab Bill ne kaha, chori mein bhi hai mazaa!"<br />Then he pulled her into his office and thought of Aamir Khan in Ghulam -"Aankhon se tune ye kya keh diya, Bill ye diwana machalne laga.." Monica picked up the cue and replied like Rani Mukherjee - "yeh kya hua, pehle to aisa hota na tha..."<br />Bill then closed the door with a mischievious smile and sang "Hum tum ek kamre mein band hon aur chaabi kho jaaye..." The rest is history. The poor security guards outside could only hear the full throated song from Dil Se, "Bill se, Bill se Bill se, Bill to aakhir bill hain na..."<br />Monica met her best friend Linda Tripp and confessed about her affair - "Mera Bill bhi kitna pagal hai, pyar jo mujhse karta hai.." Tripp recorded Monica's confessions and went to legal eagle Kenneth Starr with her cassette and screamed "Le gayee Bill, Lewinsky..paagal mujhe kar diya". Starr called Clinton and asked "Yeh kya hua, kaise hua kab hua..." But Bill cleverly interrupted and said "Oh chhodo, ye na poocho.." But Starr persisted and sang "Jhoot bole kowaa kaate.."<br />Now Bill was very angry with Monica and called her up.<br />Bill: Aye, kya bolti tu?<br />Monica: Aye, Kya main boloon..?<br />Bill: Sun<br />Monica: Suna<br />Bill: Kyon kiya ghotala?<br />Monica: Kya karoon, ho gayi thi kantala<br />Finally Clinton decided to tell Starr all, "Bill kya kare jab kisi se kisi ko pyaar ho jaye..."., to which Starr had a ready reply, "Aye Bill hai mushkil jeena yahan, jara bach ke, jara hat ke, yeh hai White House meri Jaan!"<br />Cut...Cut...Cut...!!<br /><br /><br />**********************************************************<br /><br /><br />Kesto Mukherjee had a little too much to drink one day. He was driving home from the bar one night and, of course, his car was weaving violently all over the road. A hawaldar pulls him over and asked, "kahan se aa rahe ho?"<br />"Iiiizzzzze! daru khane se! izzzeezzzeh!" slurs Kesto.<br />"Lagta hai ke aapne bahot pee rakhi hai"<br />"Hehheha. Lekin mai thik hu!" Kesto says in his usual style.<br />"Lekin aapko pata hai," says the hawaldar, "kuchh der pahle pahle aapki biwi car se gir gayi?<br />"Iiizzzzzezzzeeh! Tab to sab thik hai" sighs Kesto, "thodi der ke liye to apne ko laga...izzzezze...ke apun behra ho gaya hun....hehhehe".<br /><br /><br />*******************************************************<br /><br /><br />ORIGINAL:<br />Jab bhi koi ladki dekhon........mera dil dewana bole<br />ole......ole ole......ole...ole...ole.........<br />gaon tarana yaara jhoom jhoom ke hoole hoole.............<br />Ole.....Ole .....Ole...................Ole....Ole.....Ole........<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">REMIX</span>:<br />Jab bhi koi Party deekhon........mera bhooka paet bole<br />chole......chole...chole......chole...chole...chole.........<br />khao bhar paet yaara jhoom jhoom ke hoole hoole.............<br />chOle.....chOle .....chOle...................chOle....chOle.....chOle........<br /><br /><br />*********************************************************<br /><br /><br />WHEN I AM : <span style="font-weight: bold;">KAREEB</span><br />THERE IS ONLY : <span style="font-weight: bold;">KHAMOSHI</span><br />I WANT TO SPEAK : <span style="font-weight: bold;">DIL SE</span><br />THAT'S MY KIND OF : <span style="font-weight: bold;">ISHQ</span><br />I WANT THIS TO BE : <span style="font-weight: bold;">GUPT</span><br />AS I ALWAYS HAVE : <span style="font-weight: bold;">DARR</span><br />THAT I WILL LOOSE YOU : <span style="font-weight: bold;">SAJANI</span><br />AND THAT WOULD BE GREAT : <span style="font-weight: bold;">SADMA</span><br />I AM YOUR : <span style="font-weight: bold;">MR.AASHIQUE</span><br />BUT SOMETIMES BIT : <span style="font-weight: bold;">DEEWANA</span><br />TELL ME : <span style="font-weight: bold;">HUM AAPKE HAIN KAUN</span><br />AS I FEEL : <span style="font-weight: bold;">KUCH KUCH HOTA HAI</span><br />IN THIS : <span style="font-weight: bold;">DUNIYA DILWALON KI</span><br />I TOLD YOU : <span style="font-weight: bold;">MAINE PYAR KIYA</span><br />MAY BE : <span style="font-weight: bold;">DIL TO PAGAL HAI</span><br />BECAUSE : <span style="font-weight: bold;">JAB PYAR KISISE HOTA HAI</span><br />THE WHOLE WORLD APPEARS AS : <span style="font-weight: bold;">DUSHMAN</span><br />BUT ANYWAY : <span style="font-weight: bold;">PYAR TO HONA HI THA</span><br /><br />(************************<br /><br />ROBERT : America mein WAAR ho gaya boss !!!<br />AJIT : Us mein kyaa rakhaa hai Bloody Fool !!! India mein roz "WAAR" hota hai. Bolo kaise???<br />ROBERT : nahin maaloom Boss !!!<br />AJIT : Arre ulloo !!! SOMWAAR , MANGALWAAR, BUDHWAAR.........<br /><br /><br />(*********************************<br /><br />DAAN DOONG DUDUNG DAAN DOONG DUDUNG……<br />NOT GLASS<br />NOT STOLE<br />COLD AIR IS ALSO AGAINST US<br />MOTHER IN LAW<br />NOT GLASS<br />NOT STOLE<br />COLD AIR IS ALSO AGAINST<br />MOTHER IN LAW<br /><br />ITS SO CHILLY TAKE SOMEBODY’S QUILT GO AND TAKE FIRE FROM NEIGHBORS<br />STOVE<br />TAKE FIRE FROM NEIGHBORS STOVE<br />LIT UP THE CIGGI FROM LIVER OH LOVER<br />THERE IS LOT OF FIRE IN THE LIVER<br />DAAN DOONG DUDUNG DAAN DOONG DUDUNG……<br />DONT NOT TAKE OUT SMOKE FROM THE LIPS DONT NOT TAKE OUT SMOKE FROM<br />THE LIPS THE WORLD IS VERY CROOKED<br />LIT UP THE CIGGI FROM LIVER OH LOVER<br />THERE IS LOT OF FIRE IN THE LIVER<br />ITS SO CHILLY TAKE SOMEBODY’S QUILT GO AND TAKE FIRE FROM NEIGHBORS<br />STOVE<br />TAKE FIRE FROM NEIGHBORS STOVE<br /><br />NOT GLASS<br />NOT STOLE<br />COLD AIR IS ALSO AGAINST<br />MOTHER IN LAW<br />ITS SO CHILLY TAKE SOMEBODY’S QUILT GO AND TAKE FIRE FROM NEIGHBORS<br />STOVE<br />TAKE FIRE FROM NEIGHBORS STOVE<br />YEAH YEAH<br />NOT CRIME<br />NOT CHAOS<br />WITHOUT SIN DIED<br />U CALLED ME IN THE AFTER NOON<br />TALKED BANGALES<br />MASKED HIMSELF<br /><br />BURN THE SMALL STOVE 4M FROM LIVER OH LOVER<br />THERE IS LOT OF FIRE IN THE LIVER<br />LIT UP THE CIGGI FROM LIVER OH LOVER<br />THERE IS LOT OF FIRE IN THE LIVER<br /><br />NOT EVEN KINFE SHAPRPNEES<br />NOT EVEN PLOUGH OR PLOUGHER<br />BITE SO THAT IT LEAVE IMPRINTS<br />THIS CROP ANY FARMER VILL LEAVE<br />MAKE HOUSE OF CRUEL LIKE THIS CATO (billo)<br />MAKE HOUSE OF CRUEL LIKE THIS<br />CRUEL LIKE THIS<br />CRUEL LIKE THIS<br />MAKE HOUSE OF CRUEL LIKE THIS<br /><br />NOT EVEN CALLED ME<br />NOT EVEN TOLD ME<br />U WOKE ME UP 4M SLEEP<br />I DONT KNOW 4M VER THIS FATE CAME<br />HE CAME NEAR BY MAKING ME EAT CARDAEMOM<br />BURN THE COAL FROM LIVER OH LOVER<br />THERE IS LOT OF FIRE IN THE LIVER<br /><br /><br />*********************************************<br /><br /><br />Funny email addresses of the stars…<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">AbhishekBacchan</span>: I_can_act_too@yuva.com<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">AmitabhBacchan</span>: accept_any_role@after.kaunbanegacrorepati.tv<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">AnilKapoor</span>: expert@copyingsouthindianmovies.com<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">SalmanKhan</span>: why_do_I_always_get_into_trouble@needagirlfriend.c om<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">ShahRukhKhan</span>: over_emotions@mostmovies.com<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">RamGopalVarma</span>: same_formula@bombayunderworld.co.in<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">SunilShetty</span>: hoping_to_be@indianarnold.com<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">AamirKhan</span>: whats_up_with_the_hairstyle@mangalpande.com<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">AamirKhan</span>(alternateaddress): married_or_not@toomanyaffairs.com<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">SaifAliKhan</span>: goofy_roles@suitsmeperfect.com<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">HritikRoshan</span>: main_aisa_kyon_hoon@howtheheckdoweknow.com<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">HritikRoshan</span>(alternateaddress): main_aisa_kyon_hoon@askyourdad.com<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">AjayDevgan</span>: finally_I_started_to_act@aftersomanyyears.com<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">BobbyDeol</span>: noone_thinks_I_can_act@getanotherjob.com<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Sunny Deol</span>: He is still busy fighting Pakistani soldiers. Mail address<br />is a secret.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Urmila</span>: ramgopalvarma_has_forgotten_me@nomorerangeela.com<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">MallikaSherawat</span>: I_dont_need_to_act@overexposureworks.com<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">AmishaPatel</span>: Kaho_na_pyaar_hai@wasmyonlyhit.com<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">KareenaKapoor</span>: oh_iam_so_cute_and_talented@nobodyelsethinksso.com<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Raveena Tandon</span>: waiting_for_third_umpire@stumped.comPawan Kumar Singhhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06649500541937172983noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3979947554385035424.post-61130257576002692932007-05-31T10:10:00.003+05:302010-01-15T22:30:50.619+05:30Bihari Jokes<span style="font-weight: bold;">Bihar Engineering College Entrance Exam </span>Instructions<br /><br /><br />1) Read each question carefully<br />2) Answer all questions.<br />3) Time Limit 3 weeks.<br />4) Begin immediately.<br /><br />1. What language is spoken in France?<br /><br />2. Give a dissertation on the ancient Babylonian Empire with particular reference to architecture, literature, law and social conditions OR Give the first name of Bill Clinton.<br /><br />3. Would you ask William Shakespeare to (a) build a bridge (b) sail the ocean (c) lead an army (d) WRITE A PLAY.<br /><br />4. What religion is the Pope? (check only one) (a) Jewish (b) Catholic (c) Hindu (d) Polish (e) Agnostic.<br /><br />5. Metric conversion: how many feet are in 0.0 meters?<br /><br />6. What time is it when the big hand is on the 12 and the little hand is on the 5?<br /><br />7. How many commandments was Moses given? (approximately)<br /><br />8. What are people in America's far north called? (a) Westerners (b) Southerners (c) Northerners<br /><br />9. Give the spellings of Bush, Carter and Clinton.<br /><br />10. Six kings of England have been called George, the last one being George the Sixth. Name the previous five.<br /><br />11. Where does rain come from? (a) Earth (b) Moon (c) Sun (d) Sky<br /><br />12. Can you explain Einstein's Theory of Relativity? (a) Yes (b) No<br /><br />13. What are coat hangers used for?<br /><br />14. The Star Spangled Banner is the American National Anthem for what country?<br /><br />15. Explain Le Chateliers Principle of Dynamic Equilibrium OR spell your name in BLOCK LETTERS.<br /><br />16. Where is the basement in a three-storey building located?<br /><br />17. Which part of America produces the most Florida oranges? (a) New York (b) Florida (c) Canada (d) Wisconsin<br /><br />18. Advanced math. If you have three apples how many apples do you have?<br /><br />19. What does NBC (National Broadcasting Corp.) stand for?<br /><br />A <span>Bihari </span>went to a cigarette shop and asked for one Wills:<br />Bhai ek Will dena, so the guy selling the cigarettes told him that there is no brand by the name of Will, it is Wills, but the <span>Bihari </span>insisted and said I want one<br /><br />Will, so the person told him unless you say it correctly i.e Wills I won't sell it to you, so the <span style="font-weight: bold;">Bihari </span>went mad and said<br /><br />"Hum ek hi to maang rahen hain pura packet to nahin maang rahen hain".Pawan Kumar Singhhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06649500541937172983noreply@blogger.com12tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3979947554385035424.post-11431626785341621172007-05-31T09:52:00.002+05:302010-01-15T22:31:18.837+05:30SMS Jokes<span style="font-weight: bold;">msg </span>pe msg bhejte ho<br />bhej bhej kar bheja kharab karte ho<br />bhejte bhi ho to kya bhejte ho<br />khud ka bheja chalta nahi<br />dusro ka bheja bhej te ho<br /><br />======================<br /><br />Ae kalam jara abd se chalna mohabat ka paigaam hai<br />teri noke ke neeche mere dilbar ka naam hai<br /><br />======================<br /><br />Talaash karo koi tumhe mil jayega!<br />Magar hamari tarah, tumhe kaun chahega!!<br />Jaroor koi chahat ki nazar se tujhe dekhega!<br />Magar Aankhein hamari kahan se laayega<br /><br />======================<br /><br />jawani ke din chamkile ho gaye,<br />husn ke tevar nukeele ho gaye,<br />hum ijhar karne me thode dhele ho gaye,<br />aur udhar unke hath peele ho gaye!.<br /><br />======================<br /><br />Umeedo ki shama dil me mat jhalana !<br />Is jahan se alag dunia mat basana!!<br />AAJ bus mood mein the to <span style="font-weight: bold;">message </span>bhej diya!!<br />Par Roz intezar mein pallke mat bichana!<br /><br />======================<br /><br />Nigahon se dekh liya hota , Tamanna thi agar azmane ki !!<br />Humto yunhein behosh ho jate , Kya zaroorat thi Muskurane ki !! .... !!<br /><br /><br />======================<br /><br />kisiko ko mohabat ki sachai mar legi<br />kisi ko mohabat ki gehrai mar legi<br />karke mohabat koi na bachega<br />jo bacha use tanhai mar legiPawan Kumar Singhhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06649500541937172983noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3979947554385035424.post-74776224808037703522007-05-30T13:25:00.003+05:302010-01-15T22:31:50.472+05:30Munna and Circuit JokesPROFESSOR<br />Akal badi ki bhais?<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">MUNNA BHAI</span><br />Bole toh pehlay date of birth bata <span style="font-weight: bold;">mamu</span>.<br /><br />----------------------------------------------------------------<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">CIRCUIT</span><br />Aye <span style="font-weight: bold;">Mamu</span>, tereko papad aur jhapad mein pharak pata hai kya?<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">MAMU</span><br />Nehin.<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">CIRCUIT</span><br />To kha ke dekh le, pata chal jayega.<br /><br />----------------------------------------------------------------<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">MUNNA BHAI</span><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Mamu</span>, apun bachpan mein dus maley ke building se gir gaya tha.<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">MAMU</span><br />Aarey, phir kya hua. Bach gaya ki tapak gaya?<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">MUNNA BHAI</span><br />Yaad nehin hai yaar. Bahut purane baat hai.<br />---------------------------------------------------------------------<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">MAMU</span><br />Oye, maar gayay yaar. Meri biwi aur premika saath saath aa rehla hai.<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">MAMU </span>KA DOST<br />Arrey, mein bhi yehi bolnewala tha.<br /><br />----------------------------------------------------------------------<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">MUNNA BHAI</span><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Circuit</span>, bole toh yeh Ford kya hai?<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">CIRCUIT</span><br />Bhai, gaadi hai.<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">MUNNA BHAI</span><br />Toh phir, yeh Oxford kya hai?<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">CIRCUIT</span><br />Bole toh, simple hai bhai, Ox mane Bael, Ford mane gaadi. Oxford bole toh Baelgaadi.<br /><br />-----------------------------------------------------------------------<br /><br />PRINCIPAL<br />Agar koi ladka girls hostel mein gaya toh first time 100 Rs fine, 2nd time 200 Rs. Fine and 3rd time 500.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">MUNNA BHAI</span><br /><br />Monthly paas ka kya lega Mamu<br /><br />------------------------------------------------------------------------Pawan Kumar Singhhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06649500541937172983noreply@blogger.com