Thursday, 18 December, 2008

Category

1: Sardar Jokes

One Sardar was enjoying Sun on a Beach in America. A lady came and asked him, " Are you relaxing" Sardar answered........More


2: Sardar - Back On Demand

A sardar on an interview for the post of detective was asked a question -
Interviewer - Who killed Gandhiji ?......More

3: Mix Jokes

Luv and Kush are going to a village & in between comes a well. Luv falls
into the well. Why ?.......More






4: Filmi Jokes

ROBERT : America mein WAAR ho gaya boss !!!
AJIT : Us mein kyaa rakhaa hai Bloody Fool !!! India mein roz "WAAR" hota hai. Bolo kaise.......More

5: Bihari Jokes

A Bihari went to a cigarette shop and asked for one Wills:
Bhai ek Will dena, so the guy selling the cigarettes told him that there is no brand by the name.......More


6: SMS Jokes

Talaash karo koi tumhe mil jayega!
Magar hamari tarah, tumhe kaun chahega!!........More

7: Munna and Circuit Jokes

Agar koi ladka girls hostel mein gaya toh first time 100 Rs fine, 2nd time 200 Rs. Fine and 3rd time 500.......More

Latest Funny Jokes and Sardar Jokes

Gang of SARDARS broke a Bank.
Instead of cash they found Botles full of Chilled Red Wine,
Happily they drank & went away.
Next day Headline aai: Blood Bank lutya gya.

**************************************

Ek dafa sardar ne bank se lon lekar car khrid lya but bank ka lon wapas na kar saka.
magar Bank walo ne car wapas lalya.

Sardar:agar pata huta to shadi be bank ke lon se karta.

**************************************

Ek Sardar ne ek bachy se pucha k tum ko A,B,C Aaty hai to bachy ne keha k mujy 9 tak aty hia..
Sardar ne bachy se keha k oyee Ullu k pathy 9 A,b,c main nahe aata. yeh to Alif,, Be,,Main ata hai:

**************************************

Ek chor Sardar ka mobile le kar bagh gyia.
Dost: wo tumara mobile le kar bagh gyia or tm hanas rahe ho,
Sardar: bagne do charger tu mere pass hai.

**************************************

1st sardar yeah bacha tumhara kia lagta hai

2nd sardar:yeah mera door ka bhai hai

2nd sardar:door ka mein samjha nahin

sardar:iss k orr mere beech 8 behan bhai orr hai

Resources-:


top20free.com


SMS Dose - Daily Dose Of Fun

Funny Jokes & Pranks at EmailAJoke.com

e-favourite.com

venelite.com

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Wednesday, 2 January, 2008

Great Sardar Jokes

Mrs. Jasbir Singh was in the habit of having long conversation on the telephone, sometimes going on over an hour.

One day she hung up after 25 minutes….

“What is the matter today? asked her husband. “Today you had less than half an hour conversation on the phone.”

“I got a wrong number,” replied Mrs. Jasbir Singh.

_________________________________________________________



One Sardar was going to Chandigarh from pune by a air-india plane.He was alloted the middle seat of one of the 3-seats array.

But as soon as the Sardarji got into the plane, he sat on the window side seat which was actually for an old lady.

After some time the old lady came and requested the Sardarji to leave the side seat.

But the Sardaji told, “I want to see the view from the window and shall not leave”.

The old lady then complained to the air hostess .The air hostess requested the Sardarji to leave that seat but Sardarji did not leave.

Then the air hostess went and told the asst. captain. He also came and requested, but in vain.

Finally the Captain came. He whispered something in the ears of the Sardarji and the Sardarji immedietly left the side seat and returned to the middle seat.

Astonished, the airhostess and the asst. captain asked the captain afterwards what he told to the Sardarji?

Captain told, “nothing… Ijust told him that only the middle seats will go to Chandigarh and all others will go to Jalandhar.”

Fresh Sardar Jokes

Boss : Where were you born ?
sardar : Punjab.
Boss : which part ?
sardar : Kya which part ? Whole body born in punjab.
_________________

2 sardar were fixing a bomb in a car.
Sardar 1 : What would you do if the bomb explodes while fixing.
sardar 2 : Dont worry, I have a one more.

______________________

Sardar jokes-Nobel prize

A man is driving down a country road, when he spots a sardar standing in the middle of a huge field of grass.He pulls the car over to the side of the road and notices that Santa is just standing there, doing nothing, looking at nothing.The man gets out of the car, walks all the way out to the sardar and asks him, “Ah excuse me sir, but what are you doing?”Santa replies, “I’m trying to win a Nobel Prize.”"How?” asks the man, puzzled.”Well I heard they give the Nobel Prize to people who are out standing in their field.”

Sardar jokes-Suger level

Sardar enters kitchen and opens the sugarbox. Sees inside and closes it.Wife observes the whole episode.Again he comes and does the same stuff. Wife asks Why are you doing this?Sardar replies: Doctor told to check sugar level regularly.

Sardar jokes-Engine failure

Fifteen minutes into the flight from Delhi to Kolkata, the captain announced, “Ladies and gentlemen, one of our engines has failed. There is nothing to worry about. Our flight will take an hour longer than scheduled, but we still have three engines left.”Thirty minutes later the captain announced, “One more engine has failed and the flight will take an additional two hours. But don’t worry. We can fly just fine on two engines.”An hour later the captain announced, “One more engine has failed and our arrival will be delayed another three hours. But don’t worry. We still have one engine left.”A young Sardar passenger turned to the man in the next seat and remarked, “If we lose one more engine, we’ll be up here all day!”

Sardar jokes-Puzzle

Two Sardar walk into a bar, each orders a drink. They go and sit down and start toasting and cheering, “51 days! 51 Days!!” About five minutes later, another Sardar walks in, orders a drink, and joins the other two in the cheering.Finally, another Sardar walks in with what looks like a picture. He puts the picture thing in the middle of the table, and starts cheering with the others, “51 days!51 days!!The Bartender starts too get really curious, so he walks over to discover that the picture is a Puzzle. He walks over to one of the Sardar and asks, “What on earth are you doing??”"Well,” the Sardar says, “everyone thinks Sardar are so stupid, so we proved them wrong. On the box of this puzzle, it says 2-4 years, but we finished it in only 51 days!!!

Sardar jokes-Going home early

Three sardars who work in the same office notice that their boss has started leaving work early every day. One day they decide that after he leaves, they’ll take off early, too. After all, he never calls or comes back, so how will he know?The 1st Sardar is thrilled to get home early. he does a little gardening, watches a movie and then goes to bed early.The 2nd Sardar is elevated to be able to get in a quick workout at her health club before meeting a dinner date.The 3rd Sardar is also very happy to be home early, but as he goes upstairs he hears noises coming from his bedroom. he quietly opens the door a crack and is mortified to see his wife in bed with HIS BOSS! Ever so gently, he closes the door and creeps out of his house.The next day, the other two Sardar talk about leaving early again, but when they ask the 3rd Sardar if he wants to leave early also, he exclaims, “NO WAY! Yesterday I almost got caught!”

Sardar jokes-Hanging for life

There were eleven people hanging onto a rope that came down from a plane.Ten were sardar, and one was a girl. They all decided that one person should get off because if they didn?t, then the rope would break and everyone would die. No one could decide who should go, so finally the girl said, “I’ll get off.”After a really touching speech from the girl saying she would get off, all of the sardar started Clapping.

Sardar jokes - Weight loss

The doctor told Sardarji that if he ran eight kilometers a day for 300 days, he wouldlose 34 kilos. At the end of 300 days, Sardarji called the doctor to report he had lost the weight,but he had a problem.”What’s the problem?” asked the doctor.I’m 2400 kms from home.

Sardar jokes-Santa in heaven

Santa Singh died and went to heaven. When he got to the pearly gate Saint Peter told him that new rules were in effect due to the advances in education on earth.In order to gain admittance a prospective heavenly soul must answer two questions:1. Name two days of the week that begin with “T”.2. How many seconds are there in a year?Santa thought for a few minutes and answered…1. The two days of the week that begin with “T” are Today and Tomorrow.2. There are 12 seconds in a year.Saint Peter said, “OK, I’ll buy the Today and Tomorrow, even though it’s not the answer I expected, so your answer is correct.But how did you get only 12 seconds in a year?”Santa replied, “Well, January 2nd, February 2nd,March 2nd, etc….”Saint Peter lets him in without another word”

Sardar jokes-Santa and Banta

Santa and Banta decide to apply for jobs at a mine that had opened nearby. After sitting in the waiting room for a while, Banta gets called in for his interview.The boss asks Banta if he had worked underground mines before? Banta says that he had.The boss asks him how deep under ground he worked?Banta says, “Oh, about 8 to 10 feet.”The boss says, “Mines are a lot deeper than that, get out of here - you’re no miner!”On his way out, Banta tells Santa to tell the boss that he worked real deep underground so he could get the job. Santa gets called in.The boss asks Santa if he had worked underground mines before?Santa says, “Oh sure.”The boss asks how deep underground he worked.Santa says, “I used to work in a mine 20,000 feet underground. “The boss says, “20,000 feet, Wow! That is incredible!, “What kind of lights did you use in a mine so deep underground? “Santa says, “Oh, I didn’t need a light, I worked on the day shift!”

Sardar jokes-Who dunnit

The judge read the charges, then asked: Are you the defendant in this case?No, your honor,” replied Banta, “I’ve got a lawyer to do the defending. I’m the person who done it.

Sardar jokes

Santa: My wife is still scared of waterBanta: how come?Santa: yesterday when i went home, she was in the bath tub with the security guard!!———-Santa to his wife: darling, years ago u had a figure like coke bottle.Jeeto: yes darling i still do, only differnece is earlier it was 300mlnow it’s 1.5 ltr.———–Nurse: congrats santa, you are a father.Santa: don’t tell my wife, i want to surprise her!

Sardar jokes-The archery contest

Once upon a time there was an archery contest.The first archer, wearing a long cape covering his face, lines up in position…He takes a deep breath and fires an arrow, which finds the center of the target.Then he takes of his cape and screams: I AM…… ROBIN HOOD!!! The crowd cheers!The second archer with a cape lines up in position.He fires his arrow, which hits the center and cuts Robin Hood’s arrow into two!!!He takes off his cape and screams: I AM…… WILLIAM TELL!!!!!! The crowd cheers!!Finally our Santa in cape lines up in position… He fires his arrow but it goes all wrong!It flies past the crowd and kills the king!!! Then the man takes off his cape and screams:I AM…… SORRY

Santa banta sardar jokes

Santa: Wow Banta, Where did you get the cycle, from? Banta: I was walking on the highway when a beautiful lady came in this cycle and asked me -”want a ride Mr. Singh?” I hopped in, and she took me to the woods. Once in woods she got outside took off clothes and said to me “Mr. Singh. take anything” Santa is quite excited and asks “What did you do Santa?” Banta: I took the cycle. Santa: good show - you wouldn?t have fit into her clothes!

Short sardar jokes - santa banta

Enjoy 5 short sardar jokes !? Q: How do you recognize a Santa’s son in School?A: He is the one who erases the books when the teacher erases the board.? Santa: I kiss my wife everyday before leaving for office, what about you?Banta: Me too, after you leave.? Banta: Guess what I heard in the pub? They reckon the milkman has made love to every woman in our street except one.”Wife: I’ll bet it’s that stuck-up Rupa at number 14.? Santa was caught for speeding and went before the judge.The judge said: What will you take 30 days or Rs 3000.Santa: I think I’ll take the money.? The judge read the charges, then asked: Are you the defendant in this case?No, your honor,” replied Banta, “I’ve got a lawyer to do the defendin’. I’m the person who done it.

Sardar jokes-Engine failure

Fifteen minutes into the flight from Delhi to Kolkata, the captain announced, “Ladies and gentlemen, one of our engines has failed. There is nothing to worry about. Our flight will take an hour longer than scheduled, but we still have three engines left.”Thirty minutes later the captain announced, “One more engine has failed and the flight will take an additional two hours. But don’t worry. We can fly just fine on two engines.”An hour later the captain announced, “One more engine has failed and our arrival will be delayed another three hours. But don’t worry. We still have one engine left.”A young Sardar passenger turned to the man in the next seat and remarked, “If we lose one more engine, we’ll be up here all day!”

Sardar jokes-Nobel prize

A man is driving down a country road, when he spots a sardar standing in the middle of a huge field of grass.He pulls the car over to the side of the road and notices that Santa is just standing there, doing nothing, looking at nothing.The man gets out of the car, walks all the way out to the sardar and asks him, “Ah excuse me sir, but what are you doing?”Santa replies, “I’m trying to win a Nobel Prize.”"How?” asks the man, puzzled.”Well I heard they give the Nobel Prize to people who are out standing in their field.”

Sardar jokes-Suger level

Sardar enters kitchen and opens the sugarbox. Sees inside and closes it.Wife observes the whole episode.Again he comes and does the same stuff. Wife asks Why are you doing this?Sardar replies: Doctor told to check sugar level regularly.

Sardar jokes-Puzzle

Two Sardar walk into a bar, each orders a drink. They go and sit down and start toasting and cheering, “51 days! 51 Days!!” About five minutes later, another Sardar walks in, orders a drink, and joins the other two in the cheering.Finally, another Sardar walks in with what looks like a picture. He puts the picture thing in the middle of the table, and starts cheering with the others, “51 days!51 days!!The Bartender starts too get really curious, so he walks over to discover that the picture is a Puzzle. He walks over to one of the Sardar and asks, “What on earth are you doing??”"Well,” the Sardar says, “everyone thinks Sardar are so stupid, so we proved them wrong. On the box of this puzzle, it says 2-4 years, but we finished it in only 51 days!!!

Sardar jokes-Going home early

Three sardars who work in the same office notice that their boss has started leaving work early every day. One day they decide that after he leaves, they’ll take off early, too. After all, he never calls or comes back, so how will he know?The 1st Sardar is thrilled to get home early. he does a little gardening, watches a movie and then goes to bed early.The 2nd Sardar is elevated to be able to get in a quick workout at her health club before meeting a dinner date.The 3rd Sardar is also very happy to be home early, but as he goes upstairs he hears noises coming from his bedroom. he quietly opens the door a crack and is mortified to see his wife in bed with HIS BOSS! Ever so gently, he closes the door and creeps out of his house.The next day, the other two Sardar talk about leaving early again, but when they ask the 3rd Sardar if he wants to leave early also, he exclaims, “NO WAY! Yesterday I almost got caught!”

Sardar jokes-Hanging for life

There were eleven people hanging onto a rope that came down from a plane.Ten were sardar, and one was a girl. They all decided that one person should get off because if they didn?t, then the rope would break and everyone would die. No one could decide who should go, so finally the girl said, “I’ll get off.”After a really touching speech from the girl saying she would get off, all of the sardar started Clapping.

Sardar jokes - Weight loss

The doctor told Sardarji that if he ran eight kilometers a day for 300 days, he wouldlose 34 kilos. At the end of 300 days, Sardarji called the doctor to report he had lost the weight,but he had a problem.”What’s the problem?” asked the doctor.I’m 2400 kms from home.

Sardar jokes-Santa in heaven

Santa Singh died and went to heaven. When he got to the pearly gate Saint Peter told him that new rules were in effect due to the advances in education on earth.In order to gain admittance a prospective heavenly soul must answer two questions:1. Name two days of the week that begin with “T”.2. How many seconds are there in a year?Santa thought for a few minutes and answered…1. The two days of the week that begin with “T” are Today and Tomorrow.2. There are 12 seconds in a year.Saint Peter said, “OK, I’ll buy the Today and Tomorrow, even though it’s not the answer I expected, so your answer is correct.But how did you get only 12 seconds in a year?”Santa replied, “Well, January 2nd, February 2nd,March 2nd, etc….”Saint Peter lets him in without another word”

Sardar jokes-Santa and Banta

Santa and Banta decide to apply for jobs at a mine that had opened nearby. After sitting in the waiting room for a while, Banta gets called in for his interview.The boss asks Banta if he had worked underground mines before? Banta says that he had.The boss asks him how deep under ground he worked?Banta says, “Oh, about 8 to 10 feet.”The boss says, “Mines are a lot deeper than that, get out of here - you’re no miner!”On his way out, Banta tells Santa to tell the boss that he worked real deep underground so he could get the job. Santa gets called in.The boss asks Santa if he had worked underground mines before?Santa says, “Oh sure.”The boss asks how deep underground he worked.Santa says, “I used to work in a mine 20,000 feet underground. “The boss says, “20,000 feet, Wow! That is incredible!, “What kind of lights did you use in a mine so deep underground? “Santa says, “Oh, I didn’t need a light, I worked on the day shift!”

Sardar jokes-Who dunnit

The judge read the charges, then asked: Are you the defendant in this case?No, your honor,” replied Banta, “I’ve got a lawyer to do the defending. I’m the person who done it.

Short sardar jokes - santa banta

Enjoy 5 short sardar jokes !? Q: How do you recognize a Santa’s son in School?A: He is the one who erases the books when the teacher erases the board.? Santa: I kiss my wife everyday before leaving for office, what about you?Banta: Me too, after you leave.? Banta: Guess what I heard in the pub? They reckon the milkman has made love to every woman in our street except one.”Wife: I’ll bet it’s that stuck-up Rupa at number 14.? Santa was caught for speeding and went before the judge.The judge said: What will you take 30 days or Rs 3000.Santa: I think I’ll take the money.? The judge read the charges, then asked: Are you the defendant in this case?No, your honor,” replied Banta, “I’ve got a lawyer to do the defendin’. I’m the person who done it.

Sardar jokes

Santa: My wife is still scared of waterBanta: how come?Santa: yesterday when i went home, she was in the bath tub with the security guard!!———-Santa to his wife: darling, years ago u had a figure like coke bottle.Jeeto: yes darling i still do, only differnece is earlier it was 300mlnow it’s 1.5 ltr.———–Nurse: congrats santa, you are a father.Santa: don’t tell my wife, i want to surprise her!

Sardar jokes-The archery contest

Once upon a time there was an archery contest.The first archer, wearing a long cape covering his face, lines up in position…He takes a deep breath and fires an arrow, which finds the center of the target.Then he takes of his cape and screams: I AM…… ROBIN HOOD!!! The crowd cheers!The second archer with a cape lines up in position.He fires his arrow, which hits the center and cuts Robin Hood’s arrow into two!!!He takes off his cape and screams: I AM…… WILLIAM TELL!!!!!! The crowd cheers!!Finally our Santa in cape lines up in position… He fires his arrow but it goes all wrong!It flies past the crowd and kills the king!!! Then the man takes off his cape and screams:I AM…… SORRY

Santa banta sardar jokes

Santa: Wow Banta, Where did you get the cycle, from? Banta: I was walking on the highway when a beautiful lady came in this cycle and asked me -”want a ride Mr. Singh?” I hopped in, and she took me to the woods. Once in woods she got outside took off clothes and said to me “Mr. Singh. take anything” Santa is quite excited and asks “What did you do Santa?” Banta: I took the cycle. Santa: good show - you wouldn?t have fit into her clothes!


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